The Diary of Lily Evans
by SuperSpy
Summary: So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She’s Head Girl…she’s respectable…she’s intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she’s most likely going slightly insane. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Sadly. If I did, that would mean I was JK Rowling, which I'm not, or that I was an entire company, which I am not.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** All right, here it is! (Finally!) My first story that I've actually posted. I hope you enjoy it...

The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter One

**The Train to Hogwarts **– My Compartment

Chelsea, the girl I consider (most of the time) to be my best friend, doesn't get why I do this to myself. Keeping a diary, I mean. She is simply stuck on the fact that it will be my down fall if anyone finds it. Well then I won't LET any one find it, now will I?

I'm Head Girl - did I mention that? It'll be nice. I'll rule the school. I'll get some of the stronger first years to carry me around like Queen Cleopatra and I'll have James Potter feed my grapes and fan me with a giant palm leaf and---

I did not just write that. No really, I didn't. It's your imagination. I swear it is.

ERASE YOU STUPID INK!

Why did I buy the truth ink? I thought it would help to keep what I write truthful, you know? So I'm not just lying to my self in my diary. I slightly regret that decision now.

Chelsea is now watching me with morbid interest. She seemed to find me threatening and shouting at this diary rather amusing.

Ok….where was I…yes…Head Girl-ishness. I heard James was the new Gryffindor Quiddich Captain. Did you know that that means he gets to use the prefects bathroom? So in theory he could bathe in the same tub that……….Nevermind.

Ok Lily, time out now. Remember that:

YOU ARE HEAD GIRL! You must be levelheaded.

James Potter was a nasty git for five years and he practically tortured Snivil- I mean Severus.

You aren't going to pay attention to a single thing you've written in this list.

Damn this truth ink.

I may as well not even try to hide it. SO WHAT IF I LIKE JAMES?!

He has changed.

I swear it. I wouldn't like him otherwise. He seemed to just…deflate his head last year. Like when you poke a balloon with a pin in that soft part by the knot and it deflates slowly.

Goodness knows he still gets into a bucket load of trouble, but it's almost endearing now. Well, most of the time.

OH MERLIN! JAMES POTTER IS STARING AT ME THROUGH THE COMPARTMENT DOOR WINDOW!

He's waving at me.

Oh, now he's showing me something and mouthing something…

Sirius'….shoe? Oh no.

And there he goes, running off down the train with Sirius running after him, yelling many different curses. Not all of them spells.

Oh now he's coming back and – OPENING THE COMPARTMENT DOOR!

* * *

A few minutes later – my compartment.

Well THAT was entertaining. James comes running in here and tries to hide behind me.

"Evans! You've got to help me!"

"Why should I, Potter?"

"You're Head Girl, DO SOMETHING!"

"That would mean you getting in trouble too Potter and believe me, I have no qualms about that."

See, with James I play it cool. I act indifferent. I guess part of me is still wary that these changes about him are all some ploy. He does still ask me to go out with him occasionally. Although, it has lessened. But goodness he looked adorable, crouching down in the corner and pleading with me.

"Well…can't you just stop him? I don't know why he's so mad. All I did was take his shoe….and turn his hair pink….but that wasn't until later, when he tried to give me bunny ears…"

I stood there for a moment with a slightly confused look on my face. That's when Sirius Black, James' best friend, burst in.

"Move over Lily, I know he's here."

I turned around and gawped and Sirius' hair. It was indeed pink...VERY pink. It somewhat reminded my of the pair of fluffy slippers I had at home.

"Sorry Sirius, I can't allow you to attack him. I'm Head Girl."

"What about what he did to my HAIR!" he had exclaimed to me rather irately. I took pity on the poor boy and with a flick of my wand I set it straight. They soon left. James smiled at me as he left before walking into his compartment, which was on the other side of the hallway.

For some reason, James and Sirius high-fived once they entered their compartment. All of the Marauder's keep looking back at me…WHY IS CHELSEA LAUGHING?

She just told me to look at my hair.

Oh MERLIN.

It's pink.

* * *

**A/N:** Please review! Please, please, please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I'd like to say I owned something, but I don't. Well, I own copies of all the books…but that doesn't count, does it? Please don't sue me.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Yay! You have no idea how happy I was when I received reviews! I literally squealed with delight! Well actually, I bet any fellow writers out there know exactly what it's like, don't you? Hehehe…It's quite splendid. smiles But enough of my happy rambling, here's the next chapter!

**The Diary of Lily Evans - Chapter Two**

**The Great Hall **– The Gryffindor Table

You should have heard the whispers when I came into the great hall. My hair is the same violent (yes, I said violent. It's that bright) that Sirius' was.

The same violent pink that matches my fluffy pink slippers.

James Potter will pay. It was all a set up. I know it was. He made it so when I changed Sirius' hair back, my very own hair would change colours. Brilliant, yet deviously evil.

VERY, VERY EVIL!

Oh look, pudding…

* * *

**First Day of School **– History of Magic

Ok, sorry about that, I really needed to eat the pudding. I needed comfort food. Then Chelsea whisked me off to the dormitory so that we could catch up with a few of our other friends. Chelsea found my pink hair highly entertaining. So did Samantha and well…the entire school. During dinner Chelsea would eat for a bit, then glance at me and snort with laughter rather loudly into her plate of food. Isn't she nice?

After I found out that James turned my hair pink I tried to confront him. He had disappeared of course, as the train had just stopped. The Marauders were probably the first ones off. He'd better watch his back

Why he needs to, I haven't exactly planned yet. I'm hoping Chelsea will help.

I just have to be evil and devious. I can be evil and devious.

Seriously I can.

_You? Evil and Devious? Miss. IF-I-DO-SOMETHING-WRONG-I'LL-DEVELOP-AN-ULCER-AND-PROBABLY-HAVE-A-HEART-ATTACK-WHILE-I'M-AT-IT wants to be evil and devious? Has that pink hair affected your brain?_

I would appreciate it Chelsea if you didn't write in my diary.

_Why? It's fun. You can title it 'The Diary of Lily Evans (with commentary by Chelsea Fanrae)' It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?_

STOP WRITING IN HERE! You think you're all special because you can magic your words on to my page; well I'll just charm it so you can't!

_I see that your charm worked very well._

Oh be quiet. Now, as I was saying, I need to think of a plan.

_Oh yes. An evil and devious one, right? Hey, what did you write on the train? Can I read it?_

No you CANNOT read it.

_Why?_

Because.

_Because why?_

Because I said NO! And stop smirking at me like that. Professor Binns will notice and we'll get in trouble.

_I think Lily has a SECRET!_

STOP SMIRKING! WE'LL GET IN TROUBLE!

_Professor Binns wouldn't even notice if someone jumped up on their desk and started to hula dance. Now let me see the book._

No.

_I invoke my right as best friend and therefore order you to hand over your diary._

NOT A CHANCE.

_Well then, I'll just have to take it from you…_

Oh no, don't you DARE!

_Watch me._

I am NOT going to let you ----

_My, my, my, what's all this about a certain Mr. Potter feeding you grapes?_

You just had to 'accio' it to you, didn't you? I SIT RIGHT NEXT YOU! I expected you to just grab it…

_The element of surprise is crucial in these things, dear Mrs. Lily Potter._

DO NOT CALL MY LILY POTTER!

_Why not? It's what your name will be when you two get married._

I AM NOT GOING TO MARRY HIM! HE TURNED MY HAIR PINK!

_Yes you are going to marry him. And it's your own fault that I know about the grapes scenario. I DID tell you that this diary would be your downfall. Have you said good-bye to your dignity? Cause I think it's all gone. The way your face has gone all red from these words appearing on your page confirms it._

Oh sod off.

_So feisty._

There's the bell. GOOD BYE.

**

* * *

After Classes – The Gryffindor Common Room **

Chelsea hasn't noticed I'm writing in here. She's busy flirting with some sixth year who is just staring at her chest in fascination. I don't know why she insists on writing in here. IT'S MY DIARY. I CAN WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER I WANT.

SO WHAT IF I WANT GRAPES FED TO ME BY JAMES POTTER!

But I DON'T anymore because he TURNED MY HAIR PINK.

I will strangle him. The second he walks in her I'm going to throttle the life out of that dark haired ---

_Talking about your husband?_

Go away Chelsea. I told you to STOP WRITING IN HERE!

_Oh you're just being emotional. Now what's all this about throttling your husband?_

HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND.

_Yet._

Shut up.

_You know, it could have been worse. I bet if you ask nicely he'll change it back._

I highly doubt that.

_Oh look here he comes now. Just go and----LILY!_

**A/N:** What will Lily do! Oh the suspense! Anyways, well, this will be my second post of the day, but I wrote the first chapter a while ago, so it doesn't seem like it. For those of you who may be confused to how Chelsea is writing in the diary it's using a sort of thought spell. She points her wand at the page and as she thinks the words, they appear on the page. I hope you like it. This is still sort of setting the scene for the rest of the story.I should also mention that some odd things have been happening when I've uploaded this chapter. I appologize for any typos or other errors. I've tried desperately to catch them all. Please review!

**Reviewer Responses!**

BlueWater26: YAY! My first reviewer! I'm glad you can relate!

Faleron: YAY! My second reviewer! I hope this gets a few laughs too! I'm glad you liked Sirius' pink hair! (chuckles, knowing something this reviewer doesn't…)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I am just a lowly teenager with no money. Please don't sue me.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N**: Oh you guys are just too much! I was so thrilled when I saw new reviews when I got home from work! It absolutely brightened my day! I hope this chapter is up to your standards….

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Three**

_**Crouched in the Corridor by the Common Room –** a play by play as told by Chelsea Fanrae_

_Merlin this thought writing charm has come in handy. Lily ran after James the second he entered. He promptly (and rather intelligently) ran in the other direction. I think the murderous look on her face made him realise that Lily running towards him was BAD._

_Anyways, I picked up this book and am now crouched in the hallway as Sirius is attempting to pry Lily off James before she kills him. It's kind of funny how he's laying flat on the floor and she's straddling him. Almost romantic except for the fact that she's attempting to choke him._

_Oh look; Sirius finally pulled her away._

_Oh Merlin does she look livid. _

"_Sirius Black! Let me go this instant!" Lily screams as she attempts to wriggle out of his strong grasp._

"_Padfoot! Don't let her go! She's gonna kill me!" James whimpers as he pushes himself over to the wall and gets up slowly, massaging his throat. Lily does have a rather strong grip. _

"_Oh no, death is too good for you! I'm going to hex you for all eternity!" Lily screams again, even louder (she does have a good set of pipes, that one) and, pulling out her wand. That when she hexed James so his hair turned pink._

"_SIRIUS! DO SOMETHING!"_

"_I'M TRYING JAMES!"_

_And Lily strikes again, hitting James with a curse to make him jump like a frog and ribbit. Ok, hang on; she has GOT to teach me that one. Uh oh, Sirius let her go and drew out his wand._

"_Petrificus----" he started._

"_I hope you like that pink hair James gave you." Lily says, smirking as she flicks her wand. And now they all have pink hair. Oh and now Sirius is petrified. He looks funny, lying on the floor with only his eyes moving. I'm glad Lily is my friend and not my enemy. That would suck. James is still acting like frog. Oh no, he's trying to be a smart arse…_

"_How about -ribbit- giving -ribbit- the frog -ribbit- a kiss, Princess? -ribbit-"_

_Merlin is he stupid sometimes. Oh no, she pointing her wand at him again._

"_Miss. Evans, what is going on?"_

_Oh no, it's Mrs. McGonagall. _

_Oh MERLIN._

_SHE'S SEEN ME._

* * *

**In Professor Dumbledore's Office – **In chair

YOU WROTE IN HERE! CHELSEA!

_Technically, I thought in here._

That stupid charm I'm guessing?

_It's actually quite useful. You just hold the book open and cast the spell and WHAM you think what you want to write. It's much quicker. Look, I'll teach it to you._

Wow. This is kind of cool.

_Just be careful of what you think. You don't want your secret thoughts of a certain Mr. Potter creeping up on the page for just anyone to read._

The only thoughts I have for Mr. Potter are murderous ones.

_Really? What happened to the grapes and the palm leaves? I imagine he was going to be shirtless too._

SHUT UP! Sirius is trying to read this!

_So is James, actually_.

AH!

_Oh calm down. Here comes Dumbledore._

Quick! Shut this brain thing off!

_Lily, if you're going to keep a diary you must document everything accurately! If you just leave the book open and under the table where he can't see it, then you just think everything that's happening like story. That's how I wrote what happened before._

AND IF HE CATCHES US!

_He'll find it amusing and offer us a sherbet lemon?_

Oh do be quiet.

_Shhh… He's started talking. Now think._

Fine, fine.

"You know why you're all here," Dumbledore says, glaring at us all with deep contempt because we are all rotten people; especially James Potter.

_He is not glaring, Lily. You have to be accurate._

It's MY diary.

Dumbledore continues, still glaring, but especially at the dirty rotten scoundrel Potter.

_LILY!_

Potter is of course trying to look innocent, but he is NOT. He turned my hair PINK. Unfortunately he is no longer hopping like a frog as Mrs. McGonagall reversed my hex.

_Like I said, you have to teach me that one._

Anyways, Dumbledore has informed us that we will all be serving detention Saturday night.

"I expect the potions room to be spotless when you are done. Lily, I really expected more from you. I realise that this was retaliation for James and Sirius turning your hair pink, but as Head Girl I expected more from you. Also, along with your detention, you shall all keep your pink hair." He says, waving his wand as we all watch, horrified.

"The spell I've cast will stop anyone of you from trying to undo the pink hair spell. The only way it will change back is if the one who cast the spell forgives the person the person they cast it on."

_That's a mouthful. Why am I even here? McGonagall just dragged me off cause I was watching._

Potter and Black look rather stupid, as they always do, because they ARE rather stupid. Dumbledore now turns to Chelsea.

_Rather stupid people you who get top marks aside from you?_

"Miss. Fanrae, I understand you were watching all of this?"

_"Yes"_

"Hmm, and you didn't stop it, why?"

_"I didn't think pink hair would really help my complexion." Actualy, I was having to much fun documenting it. But I'm not going to tell HIM that._

"Hmmm…next time Miss. Fanrae, try to step in and do something. Now, before you all leave, would you like a sherbet lemon?"

_Told you he'd offer us a sherbet lemon._

Oh sod off.

* * *

**The Girls Dormitory – **My bed, late at night

This is the only way I can write in here without Chelsea interrupting. She was right though, this thought charm is quite useful. I can just sit with my diary open in the dark and it writes everything down.

I can't believe I have detention on Saturday.

I have detention on Saturday with JAMES POTTER AND SIRIUS BLACK.

I won't live to tell the tale.

James Potter is THE MOST ANNOYING BOY ON THE PLANET.

And yet he's so adorable.

I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT!

I HATE JAMES POTTER! HE TURNED MY HAIR PINK! HE MADE ME GET A DETENTION!

And yet he's still so adorable, even with livid pink hair.

SHUT UP BRAIN!

Oh Merlin, Chelsea is going to read this in History of Magic tomorrow.

This thought spell is worse that the truth ink.

* * *

**A/N**: OK, there it is, the third chapter. I hope this one pleases you. I'm posting a lot to make up for when I go on holidays in a few days. I may post a very long one as a present. Don't forget to review! 

**Reviewer Responses!**

Knubbelchen: I'm glad you like it and that you think it's well written! I'm not sure EXACTLY how many chapters there's going to be, but it should be a fair few. I have a main idea of the story line, but sometimes I just improvise certain things. I usually come up with ideas while I'm bored at work and then add then in some how.

Bucky Katt Rocks: I've read and love both series! The set up is slightly inspired by both, so I'm glad the connection is apparent…that means I'm doing something right :D

RonniekinzLuvr: Hehehe, glad you're enjoying it!

TacoBeesh: Thank you!

Liz the Laugh: Thank you!

Maylin-Chan: :D It's nice to know you like it so much!

Funkysirius: Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Sigh I own nothing, ok? Except for the plot. I am proud to say that that is my very own creation.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane

**A/N:** Oh all you reviewers are just too sweet! Now, I must admit that I'm writing this late at night (or is it early morning?) and am much too lazy and lacking the time to thank you all individually. You know who you are and I am deeply grateful to you all! Also, I am sorry for the wait. I was away on the weekend and then there was work and I spent 4 hours mailing invoices and statements. The only good product of all that work was some ideas for this story. Isn't work wonderful? All right I'm shutting up now. On with the story!

**

* * *

**

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Four**

**History of Magic –** because Professor Binns is too spaced out to notice

Merlin. Why does James have to sit right in front of me? You can tell he only showered minutes ago. He only just made it to class and his hair is all damp and---

_You really can't resist devoting every waking moment to thoughts about your husband, can you Mrs. Potter?_

Oh sod off Chelsea.

_Now, now Mrs. Potter, that isn't very nice. I am the Maid of Honour, after all._

'Maid of honour' isn't capitalized you twit.

_Ah, but I'm just that cool._

……..

_I read your entry from last night._

Crud.

_You think James is sexy. _

Technically, I never said that. I said he was adorable.

_That's just Lily-speak for 'sexy'._

Oh right. Of course. How could I, Lily Evans, not have figured that out? smacks self on forehead

_Careful there, James won't want you to damage that pretty little face of yours. Oh look, he's turned around._

Why is he smiling like that at me? What's he looking at now?

_He's looking at our desk… _

SHUT THE BOOK! SHUT THE BOOK!

* * *

**Charms – **Damage control

Do you think he saw?

_No._

Do you mean that?

_No._

CHELSEA!

_Well he WAS looking right at it…the chance of him reading it is quite good._

CHELSEA!

_It's not MY fault! You're the one who left it in such a visible place._

You're not helping.

_He's watching us._

OMG. WHERE?

_At his desk. Look, over there._

WHY IS HE SMIRKING!

_I don't think we want to know._

YOU JUST HAD TO CALL ME MRS. POTTER, DIDN'T YOU? YOU JUST HAD TO SAY THAT WHOLE THING ABOUT 'SEXY' AND 'ADORABLE', DIDN'T YOU!

_Oh look, Sirius is laughing now._

YOU STARTED ALL OF THIS! YOU HAVE CONDEMNED ME!

_I TOLD you keeping a diary was a bad idea._

IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT IT'S NOW THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED!

_Calm down, Lily._

NO! JAMES POTTER THINKS I LIKE HIM!

_But you do._

THAT'S NOT THE POINT! HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW!

_Maybe he doesn't?_

That stupid twit with his pink hair and his pink haired friend…Just HAD to go and turn my hair pink…Couldn't just leave me alone…PINK!

_Can you fit the word 'pink' in there one more time?_

What am I supposed to do?

_Deny everything?_

Do you think that will work?

_Well, no. But it's the only plan we've got._

I could avoid him for the rest of my life.

_Good luck with that._

Well, think about it. I'll just be on the move for the rest of my life; like a nomad. He'll never find me.

_Yeah? Have fun with that during your detention._

Oh Merlin.

_Speaking of that, I have a spell for you to try while you're there._

Will it make me invisible?

_No._

Then it sucks.

_Lily, be quiet. It'll help you to better document your encounters with James._

MY LIFE IS NOT A DOCUMENTARY! I'M NOT LIKE THE CROCODILE HUNTER!

_Lily, this tale of your life has to be as accurate as possible. When you're married to James don't you want to be able to look back and see exactly how it happened._

I AM NOT MARRYING JAMES POTTER! AND DO YOU REALISE THAT YOUR 'DOCUMENTING' IS EXACTLY WHAT GOT ME IN THIS HORRIBLE PREDICUMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

_It didn't get you a detention. That was all your own doing._

But because of you and your comments now James KNOWS.

_That's just speculation. He may know nothing._

THEN WHY DOES HE KEEP SMILING?

_Maybe he's just in a friendly mood? I don't get why you refuse to go out with him when you actually like him._

Because.

_Ah I see. Very thorough answer._

Oh sod off, Chelsea.

_Come on, answer me._

Fine. It's because I don't want to give in.

_What?_

He's asked me all these years, and at first I said no because he was a pig-headed jerk, but now, he isn't as much (except he turned my hair PINK!) and now I can't say yes on principle.

_So in other words you're just as stubborn as he is? And get over the pink hair thing. You turned his AND Sirius' the same colour._

And I very well may do the same to you.

_You can try my dearest friend. You can try._

Maybe I will!

_I wouldn't do that if I were you._

Why?

_Because I have a plan._

And that's supposed to persuade me?

_Yes._

And why's that?

_Because it's a really good plan._

Oh goody-goody-gum-drops.

_Stop being so sarcastic. Now, we're going to find out why James is smiling._

How?

_With a nice little spell that will allow us to have everything they're saying written on this very page._

THAT'S EVESDROPPING!

_We won't be dropping any eves, I assure you. That involves listening. We'll simply be reading. It's like a story._

But---

_DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT WHY HE'S SMILING OR NOT!_

Well…yes.

_Then stop complaining._

Fine.

_Alright, here we go._

* * *

**Evesiosa Dropium Spell: Recording>**

"---Lily's?" Sirius asked, looking sceptical.

"I SAW my name on the page in HER writing, Padfoot. She was writing about me," James explained, exasperated.

"Well, what did it say?"

"I don't know. I was so thrilled when I saw my name I just smiled and then she panicked and shut the book."

There was a pause as Sirius got a devious gleam in his dark eyes.

"We have to steal it and find out what it says."

Remus looked up from his work, "I can't allow you to do that. Pulling pranks is one thing but STEALING Lily Evans' diary is another. Plus, she'd kill you, James."

"Yeah."

"And knowing Lily," continued Remus, "what she wrote about you probably was not at all flattering."

"All right Moony. I get the idea."

Sirius huffed, "I still say we should steal it and find out what she wrote. Maybe I'm in there too!"

"I doubt that Sirius," James commented, leaning back in his chair, sighing and running a hand through his hair.

"And why's that, James?"

"Because she hates you even more that she hates me."

"Valid point, but still."

**Evesiosa Dropium Spell: Terminated>**

* * *

_See Lily? They don't know._

_Lily? Lily what's wrong? You look kind of pale._

He thinks I hate him.

_No duh. So does the whole school._

But I don't.

_I know_.

He looks so sad, just sitting there, all dejected and mope-y.

_Well then, just go tell him you're madly in love with him and that you want to get married and have his children. That's bound to brighten his day. Or you could just change his hair back to normal._

I'm not even going to acknowledge the first comment.

_That's because you're still in denial. But anyways, what about changing his hair back?_

I can't.

_And why not?_

Because!

_Please, continue._

What's to say thathe won't refuseturn my hair back to normal in return?

_Lily, the poor boy is practically in love with you. He would definitely turn your hair back to normal._

Yes, but what if he doesn't?

_Merlin you're stubborn. You should just all agree to change each other's hair back in your detention tomorrow._

Oh sod off.

_You seem to be saying that a lot lately._

* * *

**A/N:** Wow! Look at the nice long chapter I wrote for you! This ended up a lot longer than I expected. I was going to put the detention in this chapter but then the beginning got rolling and next thing I know I'm at 8 pages and it's 3:36am. Well, this was a nice treat for all of you wasn't it? I'll see if I can update again tomorrow as I will be going away in the next few days for quite a while (only 12 days…). But look….I may even start the next chapter right now as I have it all planned in my head….I'm so excited cause we finally get----AHEM….No, I will not spoil it. :D 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, I'd have money. Put simply; I don't, therefore, I do not own it.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Oh my FANTASTIC REVIEWERS! I simply could not keep from typing up this chapter when I woke up this morning and saw all your LOVELY reviews! I posted that last chapter at around 4 o'clock in the morning and I thought to myself "oh don't get your hopes up…no one has reviewed yet" and then WHAM! THERE'S 13 NEW REVIEWS! You guys just make me so happy! Oh, and radical-rebel I do realise that the Crocodile Hunter probably wasn't around…and I did debate putting that reference in…but I just couldn't resist! I'm glad you found it funny. Oh and dear Devin Jamie Pickrell, your reviews make me giggle! (hey, is it just me or does that almost rhyme?)

Thank you, ALL of you, for your WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC reviews! I wouldn't be here, writing this chapter if it wasn't for all of you! Now, ENJOY!

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Five**

**A Corridor Near the Potions Room** – Me…. panicking

Oh Merlin. I don't know if I can handle this. I have to spend hours in the same room with James. Yes, yes I know that he's in the same classes as me…but this is different. We'll be alone.

Except for Sirius.

Won't that be fun?

Urgh…I may rip out this bright pink hair of mine. It's all it's fault anyways. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't pink.

Chelsea wants me to use a spell that will work like a recording device. Apparently I don't even have to keep the book open, it just has to be near me, and so I can have it shut in one of the pockets of my robes. She also warned me that it would pick up on my thoughts. I may as well try it, right? Otherwise Chelsea will get all "You have to document your life ACCURATELY!".

She's mental, that one.

Alright…here goes…

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording >**

"Testing, testing," said Lily Evans, staring at the words as they appear on the page of her diary.

"Wow," she exclaimed quietly as she placed the diary inside the pocket of her robes. She paused, and then pulled it out again.

"Wow."

Lily Evans was always a bit slow to catch on.

"HEY!"

She also had a bit of a temper.

"Shut up," she snapped angrily as she stuffed the diary into her pocket rather unceremoniously.

Lily walked down the corridor and towards the Potions classroom and there, to her utter horror and slight anticipation, awaited two boys, both with vivid pink hair.

"You're late, Evans," Sirius commented, a smug smirk on his face. Lily simply pushed past them and into the classroom. There were buckets full of warm, soapy water and several sponges along with a row of filthy cauldrons.

"Dumbledore came by a few minutes ago and told us the Slughorn wants us to scrub the floor as well," James said as the three of them approached the awaiting cleaning supplies.

"It's _Professor_ Slughorn, Potter."

"Can't you call me James?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!" Lily yelled, her temper rising.

"Hey, cut the lover's spat. I don't want to spend my entire Saturday night cleaning. Now come on," Sirius ordered. The others stared at him in slight shock. James stepped forward and placed a hand to his best friends forehead muttering, "No fever…hmm…"

"Potter, Black has a point for once. Come on." Lily said, already grabbing a bucket and sponge and setting to work on a nearby cauldron. James and Sirius soon followed suit. It was quiet for a while. That is, if a while is a few minutes.

"Lily?"

"What, Potter?"

That's when a devilishly handsome smile crossed onto James' face and from behind his back he pulled out a lily flower.

"A pink lily for a pink Lily."

"I wouldn't _be_ pink if it wasn't for you," Lily snapped, turning away from him. James sighed.

"That's just a technicality. And besides, the prank was all in good fun."

Lily turned around, glared at him and spoke slowly, "I liked my hair the way it was."

Sirius stopped scrubbing, hearing the dangerous edge in Lily's voice.

"Well I could change it back," James offered.

Lily, who had turned around and started scrubbing her cauldron with enough force to start rubbing away the metal, turned back around to face him.

"Now you can't. You have to forgive me for turning your hair pink. It's an involuntary action for it to turn back to normal. Dumbledore said so."

"But I do forgive you."

"Then _why_, Potter, is my hair still _pink_?"

By now, Sirius was sitting on a nearby desk, watching the two as if it were a movie. He even magicked a bag of popcorn for himself.

"It's not. Look. It just changed."

Lily pulled a strand of her hair forward and looked at it.

It was still pink.

"Potter you prat, it is not!"

James was smirking.

"Oooo you're insufferable!" Lily exclaimed, glaring and picking up a sopping sponge and throwing it and James, hitting him squarely in the chest. Sirius hopped up from his seat on a nearby desk.

"Prongsie, my bestest pal, you're not gonna take that are you?" he asked.

"No Padfoot, I'm not," James said with a devilish smile as he picked up the sponge she had thrown at him and threw it right back at her. She squealed.

"Potter! Don't get me wet!"

"You, my dear Lily, should have thought about that _before_ you threw a wet sponge at me."

At that very moment Sirius and James both picked up their buckets of water and dumped them on her head.

"YOU'RE BOTH DEAD!" she screeched, charming several sponges to pelt both of them. The entire room was soon covered in soapy water and random soap bubbles floated about in the room. James chose a moment when Lily was busy fighting off Sirius to run right at her and pin her to the floor.

It took a moment for Lily to register that she was indeed lying on the soapy floor and that the heavy weight on top of her was indeed James Potter. She froze for a moment, realising how close their bodies were and how ragged their breathing was. She glanced at James' hazel eyes for a moment and a million images flitted through her mind but she couldn't quite register them all.

'_Oh my gawd,' _she thought frantically. She began to struggle, "JAMES! Get off of me!"

James didn't move. He stayed where he was, pining her arms to the ground with his hands and the rest of her body with his. Lily froze and gulped, realising her slip up.

"You called me James," he murmured quietly. It was at that moment that Sirius walked over and dumped two pails of water on them both.

"PADFOOT!" James exploded, getting up off Lily. Lily, stood up, shaking slightly and as she tried to brush some stubborn bubbles from her robes, her red hair fell into her face. Yes, that's right. Her _red_ hair. It was back to normal. She quickly looked up at James and Sirius seemed to notice at the same time.

"Jamesies," he said, drawing out the name much longer than necessary as a smirk spread over his face, "It looks like Lily's forgiven you fro being an insufferable prat."

James, his hair not being long enough to see without the aid of a mirror glanced at Lily who was blushing and staring at her shoes. James, noticing Lily's hair and how much he had missed seeing the glorious colour, looked back at Sirius who was now holding a small, handheld mirror out to him. And sure enough, James' hair was it's normal, jet-black colour. He ran a hand through his sopping wet and slightly soapy hair. In actuality, they all resembled slightly drowned rats. It was a fantastic chance of luck that Lily's diary came with a special charm that didn't allow it to get wet.

James turned and smiled at Lily, who was steadily sharing more and more qualities with a tomato. In an effort to save her dignity, she forced herself to look up at him and allow a small smile to grace its self on her features. James them turned to Sirius who was glaring at the mirror in his hand.

"Lily!" Sirius exclaimed angrily, "My hair is still pink!"

He pointed at his hair to emphasis the point.

"I realise that Sirius."

"But you changed James' back!"

"You dumped water one me."

"So did he!"

"It's the principle of the thing, Black."

"I'll tell you what it is. It's favouritism. THAT'S what it is."

Sirius suddenly got a look in his eyes and came cloder to Lily and started inspecting her head.

"Um, Padfoot, what are you doing?" James asked warily, as Lily was too stunned to say anything.

"I'm looking for evidence of a lobotomy. That's the only thing that will explain this whole fandango."

Lily smiled and shook her headas she cast a spell on herself to dry her hair and clothes.

"I trust you boys can finish up? I have Head duties to attend to," she said.

And with a passing glance at both of them, she exited the room.

James smiled to himself before he charmed himself dry and began finishing their cleaning. Sirius, on the other hand, who was not intoxicated by Lily as James was, glared bitterly at the door that she had just left through.

"Yes. Definately a lobotomy."

And Lily, who had been waiting just outside the door, waiting for the spell to finish, shook her head again, and ended the spell.

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated >**

* * *

**The Gryfindor Common Room – **Sitting in the comfiest chair EVER while I pretend to do my homework

_So that's why you look all glow-y and happy today. It's not just that your hair's back to normal like you told Alice. It was the close proximity to you're husband._

He's not my husband.

_Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hee, hee, hee, you have the stupidest smile on your face. All he did was pin you to the ground Lils._

Yeah, I know. But he felt so…strong…and he smelt so nice. All clean and fresh.

_Uh, Lily, that was probably the soapy water that both of you were covered in._

Chelsea, don't ruin my moment.

_All right, all right, I wont._

Isn't he wonderful? He's sitting there, with all his friends and he just looks so relaxed and his shirt's slightly undone and his hair's all dark and tousled and it looks like he just showered cause he did just have Quidditch practice and he's playing with that snitch and---

_Lily? As much as I love how happy you are and embracing how much you love your husband, I get the idea._

This IS my diary, Chelsea.

_With commentary by the amazing Chelsea Fanrae._

Mhm…whatever. I think I'm gonna go to bed. I feel tired.

_All right. Do you mind if I keep your diary? I want to write a bit in it. You can read it later._

Yeah, sure, go ahead. From the amount of writing you've done in this thing, it's practically half yours anyway.

_Thanks Lily._

Mhm, your welcome. Night.

_Night._

* * *

_**The Gryfindor Common Room – **A brief entry by Chelsea Fanrae_

_Ah Lily, my bestest friend (even though you are a nut case), I felt that I should take it upon myself to write you a little note you see----_

_OH. MY. GAWD._

_You just tumbled down the stairs._

_In a river of pink paint._

_Oh Merlin. This is not going to end well. The paint is everywhere. It's all over the stairs and now the common room. It just keeps flowing and flowing most likely from our very room._

_"POTTER!"_

_Oh no. James looks shocked. I don't think he expected this. Sirius is cackling. This can't be good._

_"YOU THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY, DIDN'T YOU? TO FILL MY ROOM WITH PINK PAINT?"_

_"Lily! I didn't do it! I swear!"_

_"And WHY should I believe you!"_

_Goodness…you're covered in paint from head to toe. James is looking down at the floor and re-arranging his glasses._

_"Because I wouldn't be that mean Lily."_

_Gawd, the whole common room is silent._

_"Lily, please. You have to believe me."_

_There's a pause._

_"Lily?"_

_"I can't believe I actually thought you and I could be friends."_

_And when you said that your voice was so low and calm, it's scarier than when you were yelling._

_"Lily! Lily wait!" James yells as he runs after you, but you hex him, and he flies backwards._

_Oh Lily, don't do this._

_James gets up and looks at me. He looks so, sad and terrified._

_"Chelsea. I didn't do it. Honest."_

_I watch him for a second, and then glance around the room. Everyone looks scared. Even Sirius has stopped smiling. Lily has never been thins angry, and everyone seems to know just how bad things have gotten all of a sudden. I look back at James, his hazel Eyes are pleading with me._

_And I don't know whether to believe him or not._

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, before you all attack me with frying pans, I will say this much. If you all review and tell me that you REALLY want to read the next chapter before I leave for holidays and that I should spend my time typing instead of packing just so I can post the next chapter…I may do just that. Oh, and some really nice compliments will work wonders as well. :D 


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. End of Disclaimer (cause it isn't the end of the story…hahaha I crack myself up!)

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Look! Look it's me! I'm here! I'm writing the next chapter! Aren't you proud of me? Ok, now, I just had one of the scariest experiences of my life and that was my first driving lesson with a professional instructor. The instructor seriously acted like he had been sedated. He talked like it to. And then I was driving and I was turning kind of slow cause I was nervous and this guy honked and then swore at me! Oh it was a harrowing experience, I assure you. But, I was aided along in my recovery by your WONDERFUL reviews! Goodness, some of you even made me laugh which was excellent given my harrowing experience (deceptive shadows: YES! Packing is VERY over-rated! Prongsie4028: darn that jumping Lysol. I know the feeling. Stuff jumps out of the cupboards at me all the time.) Oh goodness, I'll just be quiet….

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans** **Chapter Six**

_**Year Seven Girls Room – **supplementary documentation by Chelsea Fanrae_

_It's four o'clock in the morning and Lily just got in. She's been crying. I can tell. She still is, right now as she lay in her bed, the covers pulled up around her neck and she's burying her face in them. Alice woke up when she came in and just looked sadly at me and then lay back down._

_It won't help in the morning when Lily sees that our entire room, along with anything that was sitting out in the open, is a pale shade of pink. _

* * *

_**The Great Hall – **the Gryffindor table_

_Lily?_

_Come on Lily._

_DON'T IGNORE ME._

_LILY EVANS! STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THIS BOOK!_

Chelsea, I respectfully request that you stop documenting my life. I don't want to remember this. Also, why can't you just SPEAK to me?

_Well I respectfully choose to ignore your request and I can't just speak to you because then the entire table would hear our conversation. Now talk to me._

Why do I have to talk? I don't want these days of my life immortalized of paper. I'd rather I just forgot them.

_Because Lily, this is going to blow over, and don't you want to look back and see how?_

No. James Potter and I are too different. It'll never work out. Ever. If I give him an inch, he takes a mile.

_Are those even the same form of measurement?_

………

_Right, right, not the point. But listen Lils; I don't think James did it. _

Then who did?

_Well, I don't know quite yet._

He did it Chelsea. I know he did.

_Why do you have to be so stubborn! He likes you Lily, why would he do something to push you away?_

He doesn't like me. He's just playing head games. He waited until I forgave him so that his hair would be put back to normal and then he pulled another prank. I just can't take it anymore.

_Lily, give him a chance. He didn't know about the paint. You could see it on his face._

So you're siding with him?

_No Lily, NO._

Then what?

_I just…I don't know. I don't think he did it._

Well I KNOW he did. I have to go. We have D.A.D.A.

* * *

_**D.A.D.A – **silent study time_

_Lily? Why didn't you take the diary with you at breakfast?_

I told you, I don't want to remember this. Therefore, I have no need of a diary.

_But Lily---_

No.

_But---_

Chelsea? Drop it ok?

_All right._

_Crap. _

_Crap, crap, crap._

_This is not good._

_Lily has never been this mad at James before. Sure he's ticked her off, but I think she always found it funny. She always EXPECTED it. But she opened her heart a bit, and then he pulled a prank and now, I think it's clamped shut even tighter than before._

* * *

_**Divination – **Another entry by Chelsea_

_Why do I take this class? Ok, I know this is Lily's diary but goodness, my head is just so full of things I need to get them out, and goodness knows, nothing ever happens in this class so I have all the time in the world. _

Chelsea?

_Whoa. Hi. I thought you didn't want to write in here?_

I've decided that what's going to happen in the next few hours I most certainly want to 'document'.

_Lily, why are you smiling like that?_

I'm going to get back at Potter.

_Lily? The smiling is kind of getting creepy._

I'm gonna get Potter back so good.

_Lily, the smiling along with the uncharacteristically bad grammar is really starting to scare me._

And you, dearest Chelsea, my best friend in the entire universe, are going to help me.

_Oh this CAN'T be good._

* * *

_**Stairwell – **a waiting our sure fire detension_

_Oh this is not good. HOW could I allow Lily to talk me in to this?_

_You know, she appears so sweet and docile, but she's not, ok? SHE. IS. NOT._

_She's sitting in the stairwell up to the girls dorms with me. Everyone is at dinner right now and we're sitting in a dark stairwell staring into a dark common room._

_Do you know why?_

_No?_

_Well I'll tell you._

_It's because Lily's gone bonkers and is hell bent on 'getting Potter so good'. That's why. And the nutcase coerced me into helping. _

_We're going to get detention for a week. _

_What we've done is so totally low, so despicably low and childish and just down right EVIL that I don't think the Marauders would go this far._

_But Lily just HAD to do it._

_Because she just HAD to 'get Potter so good'_

_And she just HAD to drag me along._

_But I don't think Potter even pulled the prank that caused Lily to go nutters._

_I think Sirius did. It makes sense. He was ticked off that Lily didn't change his back so he got even. _

_And James took the fall._

_I'd imagine James isn't too happy with Sirius._

_I still can't believe what Lily did, I mean she actually---_

_Oh Merlin. Someone's coming._

"_James, please! James don't be mad. I mean it was all a bit of fun wasn't it?James, I'm sorry! I said I'd fix it! James? James wait! PRONGS!" Sirius is yelling. Then the portrait opened and in troops four people who I can only guess are the Marauders. I can just see who they are, but just barely. James was the first to enter, and now he's walking quickly way from Sirius. _

"_I can't BELIEVE you'd do this to me! Lily and I may not have been the best of friends but she certainly hates me now! Why didn't you SAY something!" James yells at Sirius._

_Lily is shifting next to me. I can tell she's starting to put two and two together._

"_James, calm down. Sirius did say he was sorry. He said that he'd go and tell Lily next time he saw her. That should fix everything," Remus says, trying to calm James down. I can see the short, squat figure of Peter hovering next to Remus. Goodness that kid creeps me out._

"_She won't believe him. She'll think I sent him to say that to make her forgive me," James says, attempting to make his way quickly to the boys staircase but he tripped over something._

"_Argh, WHY is it so dark in here!" he yells and that's when he casts a spell to light the candles in the room. _

_Lily is hiding her face in her hands._

"_No, no, no, I can't watch. I can't believe what I've done," she's muttering. Yeah well suck it up princess. It's your own fault for not believing me._

_As the Marauders' eyes adjust to the light, they realise what's been strung around the room. It slowly dawns on them that those colourful banners hanging on string that's been criss-crossed every which way across the common roomare not banners, but iare actually James' boxers._

_Every single pair he owns._

_Including the ones with snitches and broomsticks on them. _

_And hearts._

_And they're just standing there, their mouths gaping. They don't move. They don't speak. _

_Nothing._

_Lily has peeked through her fingers and is watching, horrified at what she's done._

_Sirius is the first to speak._

"_Oh my. James' boxers…are hanging from the ceiling."_

"_It appears so," Remus adds, staring up at a pair with twinkling stars on them._

"_It was Lily," James says suddenly, "Lily did this."_

_And at that moment, the portrait opened and in walked the whole of Gryffindor house. _

_Lily has now buried her face in myrobes and all I can do is pat her shoulder._

_James looks directly at us on the darkened staircase, his face stoic and expressionless._

_And all I can do is take Lily up to the dormitory and hope that this really does all blow over._

* * *

**One Week Later – **The Girls Dorms

I haven't slept for a week. But I have banged my head on my desk repeatedly at least once in every class, every day for one week.

The only reason I'm writing in here is because Madam Pomfrey ordered me to.

And the only reason Madam Pomfrey ordered me to was because Chelsea convinced her I needed to write down my feelings or I would explode.

For some reason, Madam Pomfrey believed her.

Do you want to know how my week's been?

It's been horrible.

Why, you ask?

Because I'm a horrible person and horrible people have horrible weeks.

I can't believe what I did. I mean, I strung James Potter's UNDERWEAR from the common room ceiling.

Chelsea and I served detention. We had to clean the trophy room.

But that isn't the worst part.

It was when I went to apologize for my stupidity.

I tried to apologize, I really did.

I walked up the staircase to the boys' dorms and I knocked on the door and waited and Remus opened the door. He gave me this sad smile and went to get James. Sirius came up to the door and just looked at me before saying,

"He didn't do it, Lily. I did."

"I know that now, Sirius."

"I should have told you that before."

"Yeah, that would have been nice."

And that's when James came to the door and, stepping in front of Sirius, shut it in my face.

* * *

**The Library – **a hidden isle to do homework

_Homework? Lily this is just cruel. I don't want to do homework._

We have to get this done.

_Admit it Lily, you're throwing yourself into you're work to avoid trying to fix things with James._

My, my, aren't you observant?

_Lily, come on, just apologize! Tell him you like him! You know that's why the prank bugged you so much! If you knew Sirius had done it, it wouldn't have bugged you as much. It's the same with James. It hurt him more cause he thought on some level you cared about him. _

I do care.

_Well then you kind of handled the situation wrong then, didn't you?_

Oh thanks, Chelsea, I really did want a side of guilt with my main course of guilt with guilt sauce.

_I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. You've been through enough._

It's ok. You're right anyways.

_Hm… You're finally learning._

Oh ha-ha, Chelsea.

_I'm funny aren't I?_

Like a rubber chicken. Now seriously, we have to get this done. And no more talking about my faults, ok?

_Ugh…fine…I'll do my homework and hold off on ---Oh. My. Gawd._

What? What is it?

_No, NO! Don't look._

OH MY GAWD.

_I TOLD you not to look._

Can…Can they see us?

_I think they're too preoccupied to notice…_

I…I can't…oh my gawd… I have to get out of here.

_Oh crud._

_Crud, crud, crud._

_I'm sorry Lily, but it's for your own good that I write this down. I promised myself that I would document everything if you wouldn't. Even the…unhappy things._

_James stumbled into the library a few minutes ago with a girl. _

_And they were kissing._

_The Librarian can't see any of us as we are hidden from view by shelves of books._

_And before Lily left, James had pulled away from the girl he was kissing and looked up at Lily and said hello._

_And now all I'm left to do is hope that Lily doesn't do something really stupid._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Alright, there it is…This is what I leave you to think about for twelve days.

Now, I realise that this story is supposed to be humorous and I did try to plant some nuggets of humour in it. Don't worry…when I get back I shall update right away. Let's just say, Lily gets angry and when Lily and James are both angry, hilarity often ensues.

There, that's the only half-a-hint-but-not-really-a-hint I will allow. Thank you, all of you, again for your lovely reviews. They make me happy and a happy me is a …me who writes long chapters:D See you in twelve days.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Dear People-Who-Would-Take-Great-Joy-In-Suing-The-Pants-Off-Me-If-I-Didn't-Write-This: I do not own anything.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Oh dear reviewers, you are much too kind! (But don't stop! I love it!) Devin J.P. said she was rotting. This disturbs me slightly. Please don't rot…. if you rot you can't read this! And you all should be immensely pleased as I got home a few hours ago (from a little town called Oyama, for those of you who were asking) and I went water skiing and am very sore from that as I haven't done it for over a year and yet here I am, writing the next chapter so that you don't all rot.

Oh, and for a few reviews that need some answers:

Prongsie4028: it IS a conspiracy! Finally, some one who agrees with me.

Radical-Rebel: I'm glad my story made you feel better!

Deceptive Shadows: Actually, I love long, rambling reviews. :D

TacoBeesh: There are a lot of things wrong with boys. Lol.

I would love to thank you all individually for your lovely reviews, but I'll bet that you'd rather read the next chapter. Anyways, I hope the wait hasn't been too long. While I was off relaxing and having fun, I thought of something immensely witty to say in my Authors Note…but I forgot it. On with the show.

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Seven**

**Gryffindor Common Room **– Two weeks later 

List of things to do:

- Homework

- Write loving letter to parents

- Buy a gift for Petunia's birthday

- Kill Potter

Ok, so I've completed my entire list except for the last one.

I just…grrrrr.

Potter and his new 'grilfriend' are everywhere together. It's like she's a hand puppet and she'd just lay there like a limp rag doll if he wasn't constantly touching her.

I hate her.

And I hate Potter.

I hate how I'll be walking to class and they'll be making out in the hallway like if they don't snog each other's face off the world will end.

I hate how the world DOESN'T end when they stop and look at me when they notice I'm watching.

I hate how Chelsea won't shut up about how Potter's just trying to get to me.

I hate how Potter IS getting to me.

I hate how I don't have the guts to do anything about it.

But I think I'm going to change that.

* * *

**Divination –** Plotting with Chelsea

Chelsea, I need your help.

_Oh no. 'Plotting', Lily? This can't be good._

Au contraire my fine friend. It's a very good thing.

_And why does that make me even surer that this is going to go horribly wrong?_

Oh stuff a sock in it Chelsea, you do not have the inner eye. Even this crackpot divination teacher of ours knows that.

_Fine then. What are we plotting?_

Potter's demise.

_What else is new._

You will help, won't you?

_I dunno Lily. Can't you just apologise?_

I tried that. And now he has a girlfriend.

_Yeah, that bimbo who twines herself around him and sucks his face off._

Exactly. So I need to give him a taste of his own medicine.

_Or…you could show him this diary._

Oh no, not a chance in HELL am I doing that.

_Think about it Lily, it would fix everything. He'd know how you felt and the he'd drop that prat girlfriend of his and then you could be the one sucking his face off._

Chelsea, he hurt me that day in the Library and he did it on purpose. And I've made up my mind to make him realise just how much he hurt me.

_Lily, listen to your self! This will just make things worse! The same thing happened last time with that stupid prank and look where that got us? HERE!_

If you won't help me get back at Potter, I'll do it my self. Goodbye Chelsea.

* * *

**Gryffindor Common Room **– In a chair

I refuse to speak to Chelsea. She's sitting in a chair nearby, casting glances my way and trying to get my attention.

I am ignoring her.

And I plan to ignore her until she decides to help.

Which will probably be…well, at this rate, never. When Chelsea makes up her mind about something, she sticks to it.

But that's ok, because I'm just as stubborn as she is. Perhaps even more. Some would argue that that's what started this whole thing.

If only I had a plan.

I'm completely devoid of any ideas for getting back at Potter.

He's sitting at a table with the Mauraders right now with that twit of a girlfriend of his sitting in his lap making cooing noises that quite realistically resemble a turkey. And all I want to do is go up there and slap that bimbo and punch James. And at the same time I want to kiss him madly. And I hate myself for that. And I hate him for doing this to me. For making me hate and love him at the same time. But he hurt me. And that makes me want to hurt him. I just don't know how.

Chelsea is still trying to get my attention.

Oh look, she just threw a note at me.

_Lily! TALK TO ME!_

Hmmm…., no I don't think I will.

Oh and look, just as I throw that note in the fire, she sends another.

_Lily, you're going to do something stupid, aren't you?_

I'm almost inclined to reply to that one, but Charles has just walked up to me. He looks rather nervous. I'm closing this book slightly so he can't read the page.

"Um…Hi, Lily."

Charles is a tall, lanky boy with sandy brown hair. He's gawky almost, and always looks awkward. But he's sweet and, albeit slightly strange, but still rather smart.

"Hello Charles," I say politely. I wonder what on earth he's here talking to me for?

"Um, listen Lily, I was wondering if…" he trails off. He wonders what?

"If what?" I ask kindly.

"Well," he starts, looking down at his shoes, "I was wondering if you would go on a date with me to Hogsmade this weekend?"

And stare at him, shocked. Well I never expected that.

"Um," I say, buying time. What do I do?

And then and Idea hits me.

I can make James jealous.

And so I plaster a grin on my face and look Charles right in the eyes and say, "Yes Charles, I'd love to."

And Charles looks like he's about to burst with joy.

And Chelsea is just watching me with this look on her face that I can't quite read.

Charles has said something to me and then bounded off in a fit of joy, but I never heard what he said. I can't stop looking at Chelsea and trying to read that look on her face.

And suddenly the direction of her gaze changes to behind me, so I turn around to see James stand up, grab his girlfriend by the hand and storm out of the common room.

I turn back and look at Chelsea and there's an odd feeling inside of me. A mix of adrenaline and fear because my three second plan was working. James was ticked and that thrilled me to be able to get back at him. But at the same time, I suddenly became aware of how badly this was going to go.

Chelsea took a step closer to me and opened her mouth to say something but she stopped suddenly and now just shakes her head, moves away towards the stairs and says, "I knew you were going to do something stupid."

And I can't help but wonder if she was right.

* * *

**The Girls Bathroom at the Three Broomsticks – **Panicking

Oh Merlin. What have I done?

Ok. Breathe, Lily, BREATHE.

Let me start from the beginning.

I met Charles out on the grounds so we could walk to Hogsmade together. He showed up looking as he usually did, very laid back and unconcerned about looking nice. He did appear to have showered though. I smiled pleasantly and we began walking.

Charles is nice. He's very sweet. Definitely boyfriend material, but he's so shy. He makes me laugh though.

We eventually reached the Three Broomsticks and sat down for a butterbeer. He really is sweet and easy to talk to. And he even held my hand under the table. But it was at that moment that I knew this wasn't going to work. There was no spark. None what so ever.

He was everything I'd want in a boyfriend. Smart, sweet, caring, respectful…but I…I have no desire to kiss him. He'd make a very good friend though.

Unfortunately for me though, Charles seemed to be quite smitten.

We were just talking and holding hands and sipping our butterbeer when everything started to go down hill.

I saw James and his girlfriend enter. And they were all snugly and smoochy and I saw James look right at me and that's when I did the stupidest thing I've ever done.

I gave James a hard stare and then turned and kissed Charles right on the mouth.

And after a moment I pulled back and saw the smile on Charles' face. And I glanced and saw the look of pure contempt on James face.

And then I plastered a warm smile on my face and told Charles I had to use the Ladies room.

And I ran in here and locked the door.

And I almost ripped out all of my hair as I faced the mirror over the sink in front of me, cast a silencing spell on my self and screamed as loud as I could.

And then I wrote all of this in here.

And now I have to plaster yet another fake smile on my face, go out there and pretend that I'm feeling ok instead of horribly torn apart.

* * *

**Potions -** About to kill Professor Slughorn

He paired me with Potter.

He PAIRED me with POTTER.

HE PAIRED ME WITH JAMES POTTER.

I can't believe this.

I have to switch to the story mode.

* * *

** Documentarium Spell: Recording >**

Lily Evans closed her diary and placed it in her book bag. She then picked up her belongings and moved into a seat next to the dark haired Quiddich Captain named James Potter.

Professor Slughorn, standing at the front of the room, said, "Alright, get to work. I expect the perfect Pleasant Dreams potions from every pair!"

Lily, giving James a glare, set to work, James following suit.

"I saw you and Charles at the Three Broomsticks," James commented quietly.

"So? I saw you and your girlfriend there too."

"So I guess he's your boyfriend then?"

"You'd be guessing correctly."

"Wow," James breathed quietly.

"Wow, what?" Lily asked, prickling.

"I just never thought…never mind."

"No, tell me Potter, I'm absolutely itching to find out what smart arse comment you have for me today."

James paused a moment, watching as Lily cut up a flobberworm and tossed it in their cauldron.

"I just never thought Charles was that gullible."

Lily stopped her juicing of a pomegranate.

"And what exactly is THAT supposed to mean?" Lily snapped, her voice rising above a whisper.

"Well, Charles is too nice to realise what you're doing, which is using him."

The entire classroom went silent.

"You absolute prat!" Lily yelled, and in her anger she gave up juicing the pomegranate and threw the entire thing in their cauldron.

James was angry too, and started throwing herbs into the cauldron as he spat frustrated words at Lily.

"Face it Lily, you're dating him to get back at me!"

"I am not you gormless oik! Charles is nice and sweet, unlike you! Why would I _want _to get back at you for dating Shelly? I'm just peachy-keen knowing you'll leave me alone now!" Lily screamed as she threw an entire batch of fish eggs into the churning mix of their cauldron.

"Well good because I'm completely happy with Shelly!"

And in went two mint leaves.

There was a pause as they just glared at each other, hands reaching for anything to throw into the cauldron.

"I _hate_ you!"

Lily threw in a frog leg.

"I hate_ you_!"

And James poured in a bottle of ink.

That was when the cauldron exploded, coving the entire classroom in thick green goop.

** Documentarium Spell: Terminated>**

**

* * *

****A/N:** Ok, so I think I'll end it there. Did you know that I've spent almost 3 hours on this thing? It's eleven o'clock at night here, where I live. I'm tired to boot. But I wrote this, and it's eight pages too. I would post it right now, but my internet is screwy on my computer. The wireless connection isn't working so I'm going to try and save this chapter to disk and upload it to my dad's computer, but my disk drive is on the fritz, so we'll see how that goes, but this will get updated eventually. And when it does you'll know cause you'll have read it. Lol. 

Oh, and a few last remarks.

TropicalTreat101: did you notice the nice line about giving the diary to James? That was prompted by your review! Hee hee.

Oh, and to all of you who are worried that this will end soon….I don't thin it will. There will probably be….At LEAST 10 chapters in total. Maybe more if I get some good ideas while I'm at work. Feel free to suggest stuff. I may use it… In the past I have taken things that people have liked and twisted the story to fit it. Like Sirius' pink hair. Which is actually still pink. Lol. But enough rambling from me. I shall update soon. Send me reviews!

(PS: EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO THE FLOPPY DRIVE FAERIES! IT WORKED! HENCE MY UPDATE!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I have no money. I own nothing.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** I was so excited when I checked my email before work and saw reviews! You guys make me so thrilled to be writing this story! Oh, and I have some replies for a few of you.

Caiti-pie: oh if only Lily would be her smart self, but alas, she has lost all her marbles because of James.

BlueWater26: Well, Charles isn't in the books, if that's what you mean. But I didn't completely make him up either. He's based off guy I know. (His name isn't Charles though. I changed that bit about him.)

Prongsie4028: The Inanimate Object Conspiracy shall not deter me. A moth attacked me today though. THAT scared me. It was hiding in the newspaper, and then WHAM! It attacked. shudders

Dreamy-crazygirl:D I'm glad I unknowingly helped you break out of your three sentence review rut!

Queen of Duct Tape: (love the name!) Bubbles, wrapping paper and dead chickens in my closet, OH MY! (PS: Soup cans are very, very evil. They are the most common cupboard-jumpers, I find)

Radical-rebel: Hehehe, I'm glad you like the exploding cauldron. Ps- glad to BE back!

:D

Blackolives10: Oh but the Floppy Drive Faeries CAN be that mean! But they seem to be happy right now, thankfully.

And thank you to all of my other lovely reviewers. Now, I spent all of my four hours at work thinking and planning (and plotting) for this next chapter, so I hope you like it. Oh, and you're suggestions were highly entertaining. :D

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Eight**

**Dumbledore's Office –** Awaiting my DOOM

I HATE JAMES POTTER.

I am sitting in a chair in Dumbledore's office and dripping green slime everywhere.

James doesn't look any better than I do.

He has his arms crossed and just glares at the floor.

Ugh, even this book is covered in green goop.

It smells rather putrid in here right now.

Oh crud, Dumbledore is here.

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, entered into his office in a swirl of emerald green robes. He strode to his desk and turned around to face the miscreants in his office. He gazed steadily at them through his half-moon glasses and let out a soft sigh.

"Miss. Evans, Mr. Potter, you're back again."

Neither answer.

"Professor Slughorn informed me that there was an exploding cauldron involved. Rather amusing really. What caused it?"

Lily and James simultaneously looked up at Dumbledore, looked at each other and pointed.

Albus Dumbledore chuckled slightly.

"Ah yes, of course, each blames the other and through that we come to the most truthful answer there is," Dumbledore acknowledged, smiling slightly at the pair. There was a pause as he watched them shift uneasily in their seats.

"I have an idea."

Both Lily and James looked up.

'_This could be a good thing…or it could be a horrible thing,'_ Lily thought as she waited for Professor Dumbledore to continue.

"Now Lily, I believe that we are to have a Halloween Dance this year, am I correct? Is that what you and Remus have been discussing at your Head meetings?"

Lily gulped. She never really had been paying attention during those meetings with Remus. She hadn't really been paying much attention to her Head duties at all.

"Yes, that's correct," she answered, feigning knowledge of the subject.

"Well, I spoke to Mr. Lupin in the hallway just before we came up here and he says that there hasn't been much done yet. So I've decided that the Halloween dance shall noe become your…project to work on together."

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, sitting rigidly in her seat and gripping the arm rests so hard that her knuckles turned white. James, who's eyes had been wandering around the room snapped back to attention.

"I mean to say, Miss. Evans, that you and James shall now plan and execute the whole dance. You will meet in my office to discuss details starting this evening after dinner."

"I have Quidditch practice, professor," James said.

"Then after practice."

"Alright."

"I'll meet you here and then shall leave you two alone to discuss plans. Understood?"

"Understood," they chorused.

** Documentarium Spell: Terminated> **

* * *

Oh isn't this just going to be a barrel full of giant squid.

How could Dumbledore do this to me?

* * *

**The Stands of the Quidditch Pitch –** Waiting for Potter

It's funny, watching James fly around in lazy circles as he yells instructions to his team.

It's funny how I hate him with every fibre of my being and yet at the same time, I think I love him with every fibre of my being.

I don't think I've realized how far this has all spun out of control.

I'm mad at James when actually I'm in love with him.

I'm dating Charles when I don't even like him in that way.

I'm not even speaking to Chelsea anymore.

Maybe that's why I'm glued to this thing all the time now. I have no one else to talk to.

I don't know why I can't sort things out with James. It's like the second I have to say something to him I loose all control and do something stupid.

Maybe I should start small. Maybe I should end things with ---

Omigoodness…Charles is coming this way right now.

"Hi Lily"

Ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness, ohmigood---

"Hi Charles."

"I haven't talked to you lately."

"I've been busy."

"Yeah. Listen, is everything ok with us?"

"With us?"

"Yeah, us, as a couple. You seem…distant."

I can't do it. Not right now. He's so sweet and I care about him…I can't hurt him. Not right now. And he's everything a boyfriend should be…if I stick with it…maybe things will work out. Maybe I can just forget about James---

"Lily?"

Oh crud, he's waiting for an answer. Stall, Lily, STALL!

"Yes?"

Oh yes, very well done.

"Are you going to answer?"

Urgh…I have to tell him. He'll just get hurt more if I let it go on…but---

"Yeah Charles, everything's fine. Let's do something this Hogsmade weekend, ok?"

"Sounds great. You know Lily, I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am when I'm with you."

Chicken. You BIG CHICKEN. You should have just ended it. You're making things worse.

"That's…nice, Charles."

"Well, I should go, Lily, see ya."

"Goodbye Charles."

Oh my goodness.

Quick, pass me another shovel so I can dig my own grave even FASTER.

And now I have to go drag James to Dumbledore's office as practice just ended.

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

Lily Evans stuffed her diary into her pocket and headed down the steps to the field.

"Potter!" she called, running up to James. He turned around, and stared blankly at Lily.

"What?"

"Come on, we have to go to Professor Dumbledore's office now. I want to get this over with."

"Well I have to shower."

"You can shower after," she said, exasperated, and took hold of his wrist, trying to lead him to the school instead of the changing rooms. James stayed where he was.

"If you don't let go of me right now, I will drag you into the shower with me."

"You will not."

"Wanna bet, Evans?"

Lily pulled on his arm and he in turn began to pull her across the field towards the changing rooms. She let out a frustrated scream.

"You are IMPOSSIBLE!"

James just flashed her a coy smile as he turned towards the doorway that lead into the changing room.

Lily huffed and leaned against the doorway, waiting for James.

He came out a few minutes later, his hair damp and skin still moist from his steamy shower.

"Happy, Evans?"

Lily said nothing and just headed towards the school. James trailed behind. They were silent the entire way to Dumbledore's office and even when Dumbledore greeted them with a smile and offered them a sherbet lemon, neither did anything. Albus, being the intelligent fellow that he was, chuckled under his breath, bid them good plans and left the room.

Lily and James sat down at the desk together. Lily brought out pens and paper and laid them out neatly.

And half an hour later, the pens still sat exactly where she had first placed them.

Lily and James had not moved a muscle.

They had not uttered a single word but simply glared daggers at each other the entire time.

But suddenly Lily couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Why are you being such a pain in the neck?"

"Why are you?"

Lily was outraged.

"I am not! You're the one who isn't saying anything."

"You weren't either."

"Merlin, you're annoying."

"Me? I'm annoying? You weren't even going to let me shower."

"What's it matter, you smell anyways."

"That's just low, Lily."

"Yeah, well I don't care."

"Nice come back."

"Shut up."

"You shut up."

"That's it, I'm leaving," Lily said, standing up and turning to the door but when she turned the knob, it didn't budge.

"Oh no."

"What? What is it?" James asked.

"We've been locked in."

"What!" James exclaimed, running to the door and trying desperately to open it.

"It's no use, James, we're stuck."

James was still tugging on the door.

"James?"

"What, Lily?"

"Stop trying to open the door."

"You can give up hope, Lily, but that doesn't mean I'm going to."

There was a pause. James was now trying to throw himself against the door in an attempt to open it.

"James?"

"What now, Lily?"

"I have an idea."

"That's what Dumbledore said. And that got us stuck in this room."

"We have to call a truce."

"What?"

"Just think about it James. If Dumbledore locked us in here, he would have done it in a tricky way. He paired us to plan this dance so that we'd stop fighting. If we call a truce, it should open the door."

"It's so bizarre it's something Dumbledore would do."

"Exactly."

"It's worth a shot."

"But you have to mean it, James."

"Yeah, I know."

"So, truce?"

"Truce."

And as Lily reached for the doorknob, so did James. They both took a deep breath and turned the knob.

And it clicked open.

Lily, looked at James.

"Told you it would work."

"Never doubted you."

"Good."

"Good."

And with that, they paused, and looked at each other for a moment.

James coughed.

"I should go."

"Me too."

** Documentarium Spell: Terminated>**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Wow, this chapter was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I had so many directions I could go. But, I decided to go with this one. I hope this story is making sense. It gives me a headache to even think about it really. There's a lot of idea's floating around in my head. Please, review and tell me your thoughts and ideas. Oh and Claire Bell: sleep? Who needs sleep? It's 2:30 am and look at me…wide…awake…….

(PS: All hail the Floppy Drive Faeries!)


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but a copy of each of the books. Actually, I own two copies of the goblet of fire. Don't sue me. Please. All I have is some pocket lint.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Hee, hee, all your wonderful reviews make me so happy! Because of you wonderful people I am writing a chapter everyday. I just can't stop myself when you are all just so nice and ask for more! Now, for some comments:

Prongsie4028: It just isn't safe anywhere now a days. My sister hates squirrels. She's always known they were evil. I for one was quite alarmed when a spider tried to contaminate my pasta. This Inanimate and Animate Objects Conspiracy is getting out of control.

Ryanne: Was that in the first novel? I couldn't remember if he was supposed to be head boy or not. Don't worry; it'll all work out fine. : D

Dreamy-crazygirl: Oh don't worry; lack of sleep won't cause me to go crazy. I already am!

The Big Dance: I'm glad you like my story so much. : D As for how long this story will go on, I'm not entirely sure. I never planned to go past when they get together but perhaps if I get some good, funny ideas, there may be some past that.

Queen of Duct Tape: I would never underestimate the power of the bubble! All hail the almighty bubble!

I'm listening to 'Vindicated' by Dashboard Confessional as I type this. I think in a weird way it sort of reflects this chapter. Well, at least what I have planned for it. My chapters often start to change as I write them. Well, I hope you enjoy this one as much as the others.

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Nine**

**Gryffindor Table – **Breakfast

It's funny how my relationship is with James. I mean we were both being stupid and angry and suddenly everything is…dare I say it, back to normal.

Except for the fact that we're both dating other people.

Chelsea is sitting across from me.

We haven't spoken in days.

She's ticked off about what I'm doing to Charles.

Heck, I'm ticked off about what I'm doing to Charles.

In the week or so that I've been dating him and talking to him he's been so sweet that I don't know if I can hurt him, but in actuality, I'm hurting him even more by NOT doing anything.

He's walked me to class everyday. He's sitting next to me right now.

Well, actually in retrospect it's almost kind of smothering. I never thought about it like that before. I've always had my nose buried in here or I was just thinking and distracted.

But now it's kind of annoying.

But if I liked him in the way that I pretend to, it wouldn't bother me? Would it? If it were James, I'd be thrilled.

But it isn't James.

And I don't think it ever will be.

Not now anyways.

There's a line that we never crossed when it came to our bickering. We never actually MEANT to hurt the other person. We were just pressing each other's buttons.

He would pull a prank. I would yell. That was the order of things.

We're about a mile past that line now.

The table is all but empty now.

There's a boy named Charlie who is sliding down the bench to sit beside me.

Charlie is actually a cousin of Charles. I bet their family get-togethers are interesting.

"Hey Miss Evans."

"Hello Charlie."

Charlie tips his head sideways and watches me.

Charlie has this look about him.

This looks of deep intelligence that other people just don't have.

He always looks calm and controlled and yet, behind his eyes you know things are working at this super high pace. He also has an uncanny ability to read people.

"Feeling a bit lost, Lily?"

"You could say so."

Charlie paused.

"You haven't been speaking to Chelsea lately."

It was a statement rather than a question, but I nodded anyways.

"You had a disagreement."

More nodding.

Charlie paused again.

"You already know what to do."

And still more nodding from me, the part-time bobble head doll.

I then paused.

"But where do I start? I can't fix this all on my own."

"We all need a shove in the right direction from time to time. I believe that Chelsea would gladly shove you, or even drag you in the right direction if need be."

And there I go, nodding again.

"But you knew all of this already, didn't you?"

And instead of nodding right away, I pause and think.

I did know all of this, and yet I feel like it's the first time I've been told.

And I know that when I leave her, I'm going to act on it, even though it scares me senseless.

I nod slowly, "Yeah, I think I did,"

And as I speak, I can feel a strange hope inside of me. I feel that maybe, just maybe, things will be ok eventually.

"Charlie, you're wonderful. Thank you."

"Oh I haven't done anything. You said yourself that you already knew what you had to do," he said, smiling.

I open my mouth, wanting to tell him otherwise, but he had already stood up and was whistling softly as he walked down the isle and out of the Great Hall.

* * *

**The Library**

Chelsea?

Chelsea please don't ignore me.

You know I'd actually speak if Ms. Pince wouldn't kick me out the second I opened my mouth.

_What do you want Lily?_

I want to have my best friend back.

_Have you broken up with Charles?_

No. Not yet.

_Then I have nothing to say to you._

Chelsea I need your help. I can't do this on my own. I need some one to walk me through it. I may not like Charles in the same way he likes me, but I desperately don't want to hurt him.

_You should have thought about that before you said 'yes'._

I admit I was being stupid. I have been doing stupid things for a while now.

_You can say that again._

So will you help me? Will you help me get through what I have to do?

_Yeah, Lily, I will._

* * *

**Gryffindor Common Room –** Waiting for Potter

_My, my, my, for someone who didn't want to document their life, you sure have been doing a lot of documentation._

It helped me. I really would have imploded with out it. Just like you told Madam Pomfrey I would.

_That would have been messy._

Actually, imploding isn't. Exploding is.

_Like that cauldron you and James blew up._

That was during one of my many lapses of common sense.

_I think it was the pomegranate that did it._

Why's that?

_It just sounds destructive._

Oh right. Of course.

_Why are you waiting here again?_

For Potter.

_Oh right. Your some-day husband._

I think any chances of that are over. Our relationship is really… messed up right now.

_You both seem civil._

That's because we called a truce.

_Ah I see. Here he comes. Switch to the documenting mode._

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

James just reached the bottom of the stairs as Lily tucked her diary into her pocket.

"Ready?" James asked. Lily nodded and headed for the portrait hole.

They made their way to Dumbledore's office where he was waiting for them.

"Ah, Lily and James, I was so pleased when I can back to find you both gone. I trust you figured out how the door worked then?"

"Yes, we did professor."

"Very sneaky of you, professor." James acknowledged. Albus chucked.

"I'll leave you two to get busy then, shall I?"

The two students nodded and Dumbledore left. Lily handed James a pen and paper and took one of each for herself as well.

"Ok," Lily started, "we need to think of everything we need."

"Decorations."

"Yep. Like pumpkins and streamers."

"And bats that fly around."

"Um, alright."

"And severed heads on all of the tables."

"Don't get carried away, James."

"Yes, I suppose Nearly Headless Nick would feel left out."

"Not to mention all the people who would be sick to their stomachs," Lily muttered.

"Aw, does Lily not have a strong stomach?"

"My stomach is fine, James."

"Yes, I know."

And they fell into an easy silence as they wrote down all the decorations they could think of.

"Alright, what about refreshments?" Lily asked.

"Punch and snacks?"

"Sure, but what kind of punch and what types of snacks?"

"How about pumpkin juice dyed red, like blood?"

"It's definitely inventive."

"What, you don't like it? Do you have issues with blood?"

"No. I have issues drinking blood."

"Hmm….so you're not a vampire…"

"JAMES!"

"Joking, Lily."

Lily harrumphed loudly and yet at the same time relished at the fact that James was teasing her again.

"We still need snacks," James announced after a moment of silence.

"How about chips and cookies. The cookies could be in some gruesome shape that I'll let you choose."

"Oh Lily, you're just too sweet," James said, acting rather girlishly, even doing a nice little hand move. Lily stifled a laugh.

They carried on that way for a while, slipping into an easy atmosphere, just laughing and talking and making plans.

"There should be cake," Lily piped up.

"What type?"

"FLAN!"

"Flan?"

"You know, fruit flan!"

"No, I don't know fruit flan."

"Well it's the best cake EVER!" Lily exclaimed, jumping up from her chair. She was caught up in the moment and moving her arms wildly as she rushed to explain all about the glorious fruit flan.

"It's cake with whipped cream and fruit like strawberries and kiwi on top in a gaze and it's just so moist and delicious and---!"

And that's when Lily jumped, full of enthusiasm and failed to land on her feet and instead, landed in James' lap.

They both froze.

And then Lily recovered and rose slowly from her spot in James' lap and moved away, facing away from him and breathing heavily as if she had just been held underwater for several minutes.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's…it's alright. I should go. Shelly's waiting for me to help her with her homework."

"Your girlfriend."

"Yeah. My girlfriend."

"Right."

James picked up his things and left quickly.

Lily sat down in her chair and stared at the desk in front of her.

She then slowly leaned forward until her forehead came in contact with the desk and then pulled her head back slightly and then let it drop back to the table.

"I'm so stupid," she muttered.

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated>**

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Wow, I ended up cutting this chapter a bit shorter than I was going to. This seems like a good place to end it for today. I hope you're still enjoying this. I also hope this is making sense. Their actions may seem weird (why don't they just dump their boyfriend/girlfriend and make out already!) but life doesn't work that way, does it? If you have questions, please ask. Oh, and PLEASE review! Although, I don't think I need to remind you. You're all very good at reviewing. :D

(The Floppy Drive Faeries are pleased with your bowing down and hailing. They now wish you to peel them grapes.)

One last comment:

Caiti-pie: See, they're still planning the dance! Oh and don't worry. It will be very entertaining. The humour level in this story needs to go way up again. : D


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own anything. sigh

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Alright, fist things first. As I write this I am transferring files from my computer to my dad's computer because mine needs to be taken in to be fixed or scrapped or who knows what. So, contrary to my usual habits, I may not be updating as often. sigh It's sad for me because I love writing this story! Now, for some reviewer responses:

Youkaigirl64: Well, I'll tell you this, fruit flan is neither sticky nor gross. :D

Bob-chan: I'm glad you like this story and I'm sorry about the typos. I try to catch them, I really do.

Il0vecaptain0ats: I just hope I can continue to update quickly…I'm glad you like Charlie though, I have a special place in my heart for that character.

Caiti-pie: Look! Another response! Yes, I know a lot didn't happen last chapter. It was sort of the transitional one. It's setting up for this one mainly. I hope this one doesn't disappoint you!

Ryanne: Ah yes, now I remember! But don't worry, it will all work out perfectly…

Tasselabb: Yeah I know…sigh they like to bicker. Or maybe I just like to make them bicker…

Claire Belle: I find that the Internet Faeries enjoy it when you sing and dance for them.

Prongsie4028: High school…oh yes I remember what fun my first day was. Although I'm not switching schools…grade eleven has me freaked….Yes, my sister is rather smart. But don't tell her I said that. It'll go to her head. Spiders….yuck. I hate them. They have too many legs and eyes…and the JUMPING ones….yech…We should start an Inanimate And Animate Object Conspiracy Awareness Group (IAAOCAG for short).

Queen of Duct Tape: Well…I hope the humour is up a little bit more in this one…You know, the Floppy Drive Faeries are very pleased with you. You're the only one that's peeled them grapes. And I hope my good habit of updating quickly holds true. I don't want to earn the wrath of the bubble. Or the dead chicken in my closet.

Ok, so keep in mind that the computer I will be using for the next little while is my dads and he spends a lot of time on it and so does my mum…so I will TRY to update as often as possible. For now, enjoy chapter 10!

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter 10**

**Divination –** Bored. Really, really bored.

Merlin, I hate this class. It's so stupid. What are tea leaves supposed to tell me? That I drank tea?

_Well if that's what they're SUPPOSED to tell you, then they're very accurate, aren't they?_

Oh ha, ha Chelsea.

_James and Sirius seem to be having fun over there._

Yeah.

_You two have the strangest relationship._

How so?

_Well, you both like each other and yet you're not dating._

I have no proof saying that he still likes me.

_Well you could ask him._

Like THAT'S ever going to happen.

_Well why not ask Sirius?_

I guess I could.

_Good. Now have you talked to Charles yet?_

No…not yet.

_Chicken. You have to get it over with. You'll only hurt him more._

I told him we'd go to Hogsmade together tomorrow.

_So you'll do it then?_

I hope so.

_Hmmm…I'll have to devise a plan so that you can't back out._

Oh no.

_Don't worry. It' won't be anything horrible._

Mhmmm…..

_Oh crud…here comes that floozy of a professor… quick shut the diary and make up something drastic about my tea leaves!_

* * *

**Gryffindor Common Room **– Talking to Sirius…this should be interesting

Ok, he's sitting at a table with Remus and Peter. Now, I just have to go up there and ask to speak to him privately.

Easier said than done.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"

Sirius looks up from his homework which he's actually doing for once. He looks slightly wary of me.

"Why?"

"I just need to ask you something."

"Alright," he answers slowly. We walk over to an empty corner of the common room.

"What do you want?" he asks.

I want James. But I'm not going to say that.

"I want to ask you a question about James."

Yes, that sounds much better. Not so stalker-ish.

"Hm… sorry Lily but if you want info on dear Jamsies then I need something else in return," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Like what?"

He points to his hair which is still a vibrant pink.

"I think you know what."

I chuckle slightly and in my head, I forgive Sirius and slowly, his hair changes back.

"Now Sirius, you have to answer my question."

"Well, what do you want to know about James?"

This is going to sound so stupid. I know it will. But I've come this far…

"Does he still like me? Or does he hate my guts?"

Sirius bursts out laughing.

"THAT'S what you want to know? Geeze Lily, you're more oblivious than I thought."

"So he does still like me?"

"I think you know the answer already," Sirius answers as he turns and begins to walk back, still shaking his head and chuckling.

"Don't tell Potter I've talked to you! And stop trying to sound like Charlie!"

* * *

_**Hogsmade: The Three Broomsticks **– Operation: Dump Charles_

'Dump' is such a strong word Chelsea.

_Ah, but it's exactly what you're going to do._

Yes Chelsea. Now explain to me again how this is going to work?

_When Charles gets here, I'll cast the spell so our thoughts are shared. You can hear what I'm 'think-speaking' and I'll hear what your 'think-speaking'. It will also be recorded in here for documentation purposes. I'm running the Documentarium spell as well so it'll have speech and movement._

Right, and I told Charles to meet me here at two…and it's now one fifty five. Five minutes to go.

_That's right Lily. I'm so glad you can tell time. You're a big girl now._

Shut up Chelsea.

_Why? It's just so much fun to bug you!_

Oh my goodness…Charles is here! He's three minutes and forty-seven seconds early!

_Then that's three minutes and forty-seven seconds that this will be over sooner._

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

**Mentalus Coms Spell: Enabled>**

Charles walked towards Lily, a bright smile on his face.

"Hey Lily!" he said, sitting down beside her and kissing her on the cheek. Chelsea, a few tables away, glanced down at Lily's diary and then back up at the scene across from her.

"Hey Charles," Lily said, hesitant.

_'He looks so happy,'_ Lily thought, directing it towards Chelsea.

_'Don't cop out on me now, Lily. You have to get this over with.'_

_'Yes I know.'_

"So, you wanted to talk about something? It sounded important," Charles said, looking into her eyes earnestly.

At that moment, Shelly Narmosomata and a group of her friends flounced into the Three Broomsticks, giggling loudly.

"Charles, I have something to tell you," Lily started, not noticing Shelly's entrance.

_'Go easy on him, Lily.'_

"Charles, I think---"

Lily broke off suddenly, now taking in the fact that Shell was taking great pleasure in telling her friends of some joyous occasion.

_'Is that Shelly?'_

_'Focus, Lily!'_

_'But what is she so happy about?'_

_'It's not important, now focus!'_

_'But I have to know!'_

"Lily, you were saying?"

"I think that we need to---"

A squeal went up from Shelly's table.

_'Oh my gawd.'_

_'What Chelsea? WHAT?'_

"James loves Shelly! James loves Shelly!" sang the girls at Shelly's table.

Lily felt her stomach hollow out.

"I think we need to leave. Right now," Lily said, grabbing Charles hand, standing up and rushing out the door.

* * *

**Dumbledore's Office –** Planning with James

I feel…different. I don't think I've ever quite felt like this before.

I feel hollowed out.

Empty.

James told Shelly that he loves her.

Sirius was wrong.

Sirius was very wrong.

It hurts more now, than it would have before, when I was still angry with him. The angry covered the pain. And now I'm stuck here, sitting next to him, pretending to write down a list of music we could play at the Halloween Dance. I haven't written a thing.

I realise now that what I hoped for, has no chance of ever happening.

Ever.

James loves Shelly.

Not me.

I screwed up big time.

And there's no going back.

But, we can still have some form of a relationship, just different than what I wanted.

A sort of friendship.

But I'm afraid even that will be forced, given the way I feel.

If I can't have all of James, maybe I don't want any of him at all?

"Lily? Are you all right? You seem… distracted," James asks suddenly, intruding on my thoughts.

I pause for a moment.

"I'm fine James. I'm perfectly fine," I say.

It's almost automatic.

I flash him a quick smile to top it off.

He watches me for a moment, and then goes back to work.

It's like he knows some things off.

If only he knew just how much.

* * *

**A/N:** OK, first, I am sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I hope the next one will be longer. Second, I hope you can catch the humour in here. There is some. But a lot of it is subtle. I hope this isn't disappointing. It is yet another…transitional chapter, but it has some drama to it. 

Remember now, my computer shall be going to meet its maker, so I won't be able to update as quickly. I will try though. And I shall promise to make the next chapter nice and long. For all I know…it might be the last one. I'm not quite sure yet.

Please review.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Don't sue me. I own nothing. I don't even have my own computer anymore. sigh

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** Wow, lots of review questions so I'll answer them just as one big thing ok? Some of you asked the same questions.

Lily and Charles have not broken up yet.

Then dance is in two weeks. Roughly.

James is popular. Very. (happy JAMES' FREAK?)

You'll find out a bit more about Chelsea's spell knowledge soon.

You want a prank? Hmm…

I can't just TELL you what's up with James and Shelly. That'd take the fun out of all the confusion I've created. :D

I probably will be writing other stories after this one.

IAAOCAG forever!

Oh, and a sentence everyone should love:

This will not be the last chapter.

Happy now? Thought so. Oh, and a quick question, do you want the story to go past their getting together?

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Eleven**

**Charms –** Numb

_Numb, Lily?_

Yes. Numb.

_Why?_

Because that's how I feel. Numb.

_Do you want me to curse her?_

As tempting as that is, no.

_NO!_

She makes James happy, obviously. And I want James to be happy.

_Alright, I'm a big fan of your new found sanity, but that's just like giving up Lily. This is your future husband we're talking about!_

My would-have-been-future-husband-if-I-wasn't-so-stupid, you mean.

_Lily! But what about what Sirius said? He's James' best friend and he wouldn't lie to you!_

Well he must have been operating off old intell. As we've found out, James loves Shelly.

_The wanker. I had high hopes for him but then he goes and does this. I don't suppose I'm allowed to curse him, am I._

No, Chelsea, you can't.

_You know, you were a lot more fun when you were crazy._

You're just saying that because you're hell-bent on cursing someone. Besides, I read your entries, you were always worried when I had lost my sanity.

_Yeah but now your just…Numb._

Yeah I know.

_That's not good Lils. I mean honestly, you need to snap out of this and become yourself again. The smart, witty, intelligent one who was level-headed and yet slightly crazy who was madly in love with James Potter and had him wrapped around her finger. The one who wouldn't let Shelly have him without a fight!_

But what's the point? James loves Shelly.

_Stop saying that HORRID sentence! Lily, snap out of this!_

I don't think I can, Chelsea.

_Well then I'll make you._

How?

_I don't know yet. Hey look, James looks kind of alarmed over there._

About what?

_I don't know, but I could find out…_

Oh no, not that eves dropping spell again. And quit grinning like a maniac.

_It's the same grin you wore dear Lily when you were plotting._

If you don't mind, I'd like to forget my plotting days for the moment. They started this whole mess.

_Noted. But can I Lily? Please let me drop some eves? I love to drop them! They're just so droppable!_

Last time you told me it wasn't eves dropping, it was 'like a story'.

_I decided to change tactics. Please Lily?_

I don't know…

_Pretty please with a cherry on top?_

Fine.

_YAY!_

* * *

** Eveiosa Droppium Spell: Recording> **

"---love Shelly." James finished, looking warily at his fellow Mauraders.

"No wonder Lily's been so quiet," Remus mussed, "She must have heard."

"Why would she care?" Peter asked, his brow furrowing. James had looked up as well. Sirius glanced nervously as Remus.

"She wouldn't, I think it just struck her funny, you know? James, you've been chasing her for years and now word gets out that you love Shelly," Remus said, speaking rather quickly. James opened his mouth to speak.

** Eveiosa Droppium Spell: Terminated >**

* * *

_You know what? I think I've had enough of that spell._

Yeah, me too.

_Lily, I'm sorry._

It's ok Chelsea, I'll be ok.

* * *

**Gryffindor Common Room **– Chatting with Chelsea

_You know, I like the sound of that, 'Chatting with Chelsea'. I should have a talk show named that._

You just tend to like anything that's an alliteration.

_And with good reason! It sounds cool._

Mhmm….Oh MERLIN.

_What is it?_

Charles is headed this way.

_Now's a good chance to break up with him…_

I CAN'T! I'm not prepared! I don't know what to say!

_Just say 'Yo, Charles, I don't like you.'_

What happened to letting him down easy?

_He's too clingy. He's always sitting near us. And he makes oogly faces at you._

Yeah, I know he's clingy but oogly faces? I've never seen any oogly faces.

_He only oogles when you're not looking. He's a secret oogler._

"Hello, Lily," Charles says.

_What? Don't I get a 'hello'? Not that I want one from a sneaky oogly oogler like him anyways._

You do realize 'oogle' isn't even a word, right?

_Oh it will be. Webster is my brother from another mother. We're tight, him and I._

Goodness you're insane.

_You realize you haven't said hi to Charles yet, right?_

Crud.

"Hello Charles."

"Listen Lily, I think we need to talk."

"Um, alright."

"In private."

"Ok…"

_WAIT! WAIT! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF THE LOOP!_

I'll be right back Chelsea!

_BREAK UP WITH THE OOGLY OOGLER!_

Chelsea has lost it, she really has. It's like we're incapable of both having a brain at the same time. I loose mine, she has one. I have one, she looses hers.Charles and I have moved over to a quiet corner of the common room.

"Lily---"

"Charles---"

We both started at the same time.

"You go first," Charles offers. Well, as quickly as I want to get this over, I'm slightly curious as to what he has to say. Although, if he says he loves me, I may have to slap the oogly oogler silly until he comes to his senses. Oh no…the word 'oogle' has begun to seep into my vocabulary.

"No, it's ok," I say, "You can go first."

Charles looks nervous, and he looks around the common room before speaking.

"I've noticed over the past while that, well, things aren't working," he whispers, "I just, well, you're very pretty Lily, and I often catch myself staring at you, but…"

The oogler pauses for a moment. This isn't good. What's he trying to get at?

"…there's someone else. I know this will be hard for you, but I think we should break up."

Wait, WHAT!

"WHAT!" my voice echoes loudly, catching the attention of everyone in the room, including the Marauders, minus James as he's at Quidditch practice, thank Merlin.

Charles looks like he's about to panic.

"Shhhhh, Lily, no need to shout! You're a wonderful person, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. I tried to force it, but it just wasn't working. I'm sorry," he says, turning and walking away.

I can't believe it. I got DUMPED by an oogling oogler who I don't even like.

An oogling oogler who I was going to dump!

An oogling oogler who I would have dumped if I had gone first!

DAMN CURIOSITY!

Charles is making his way through the portrait hole as I yell, "YEAH WELL I DUMP YOU, YOU OOGLING OOGLER!"

Ok, that probably wasn't the best insult…but darn Chelsea and her catchy words.

Speaking of Chelsea, she's walking over here, along with Charlie. The rest of the common room is politely pretending they heard nothing. The Marauders (minus James), I've noticed, are gone.

"Nice one," Chelsea says, patting me on the back, "I'm proud of you. You were very mature, using the words 'oogling oogler'."

Yeah, yeah, shut up. I poke her and then cross my arms. Charlie smirks, his dark blue eyes twinkling with that annoying wise-ness.

"Look on the bright side, Lily, you're broken up and you didn't have to hurt him."

You know what, Charlies, you're not helping this time. But I say nothing and just continue to scowl.

I was dumped by an oogling oogler.

* * *

**Divination – **Merlin this class is boring

_Oh wise crystal ball, tell me what I wish to know! What do you see in my future?_

Fog apparently.

_Lots and lots of fog._

I hate this class.

_I've believe you've said so before. But, on another note, you seem different. Less...numb, perhaps?_

Yeah, I don't know what's up. I think that whole scene with Charles kind of helped me snap back to myself. It lessened some stress too. I still don't think I can handle talking to James though. And he and I are supposed to work on finalizing our plan for the Halloween Dance. It's next Friday.

_Well, you never know. Things could change quite quickly._

What's THAT supposed to mean?

_I'm just feeding off the divination atmosphere. I wanted to sound mystical._

I still don't trust you. You're up to something.

_Am not. I think you're suffering from incense-induced paranoia. Merlin knows there's enough of it in here._

Maybe, but still…

_Oh relax Lily, what on earth could I do?_

Numerous things, like trying to fix the crazy Potter Problem.

_Only a crazy person would attempt that._

Exactly.

_Oh Lily don't be ridiculous. You said your self, James loves Shelly and you want him to be happy. So unless James doesn't like Shelly, then I wouldn't do anything._

You're talking cryptically.

_I am not. I'm just stating the truth. You want James to be happy, so I won't do anything that will stop James from being happy._

Right but---

_Oh look, here comes Miss. Inner-Eye, better find something in that crystal ball, Lils._

* * *

**The Quidditch Pitch –** Gryffindor versus Slytherin

Chelsea is up to something. I know she is. I just don't know what. We're sitting here, waiting for the game to begin, and for some reason, she invited Sirius, Remus and Peter to join us. They're all talking, so they haven't noticed I'm writing in here.

Oh and the game's starting now. There's James. Goodness…I forgot how hot he looked in all his Quidditch gear and zooming around like that.

The only thing that quells that tingly feeling in my stomach is the fact that Shelly, a few rows behind us, is cheering and screaming about how much she loves him.

James doesn't seem to hear her and therefore I am spared seeming him blow her a kiss or some other revolting action of affection.

In the minutes that the game's started, Gryffindor has already scored a goal.

Hahaha! Take that Slytherin! YOU SUCK!

James is circling above, looking for the snitch. He is the worlds hottest seeker ever.

"I LOVE YOU JAMES!" Shelly has just yelled.

Oh goodness how I want to smack that girl. But I mustn't. James loves her.

But I can still WANT to. I just can't ACTUALLY smack her.

AND GRYFFINDOR SCORES AGAIN! HAHAHAHA!

Everyone is cheering. That's all you can hear is cheering. Except Chelsea, Sirius and Remus------OH MY GAWD.

* * *

**Hospital Wing – **Contemplating who I want to hit more, Chelsea, Sirius or Remus

I can't BELIEVE what they've done!

James is unconscious thanks to them.

They made him fall from his broom!

He fell and fell and then hit the ground.

He had a broken arm until Madam Pomfrey fixed it, but he passed out from the pain.

Gryffindor lost the game too.

And they did all of this because…

I have no idea. What's the purpose?

Kill him so Shelly can't have him just because I can't?

Chelsea said that she wouldn't do anything to make James unhappy.

Well I don't know about her but I'd be pretty unhappy right about now.

Unless it's all some ploy so that I'll be sitting here for James to wake up to and then he'll know I care about him and then he'll dump Shelly and---

"Lily?"

Oh my gawd. He's awake.

"Lily, what happened?"

Well I have to tell him the truth.

"Chelsea, Sirius and Remus tried to kill you."

"What?" he asks, looking adorably confused. No! SHUT UP BRAIN! He's…Shelly's…man. Ugh.

"They made you fall for some reason. It seems to be some sick and twisted master plan of theirs. Look, I'll go find Shelly for you. I think she's out in the hall bawling her eyes out because she thinks you're dead."

"Shelly? Why would I want to see Shelly?"

Does he have amnesia?

"Because she's your girlfriend and you love her?"

"What ever gave you that idea?"

Uh, duh, because you're dating her you amnesiac twit.

"Because you're dating her and I heard her in the Three Broomsticks telling her friends that you said that you loved her."

James is laughing.

The raving lunatic is LAUGHING.

"What's so funny, James?" I ask, slightly indignant.

"Remus, that liar. I get it now."

I'm glad someone knows what's going on. I sure don't.

"James, what's going on?"

"Lily, lets get a few things straight right now, ok?

FINALLY. I nod.

"I broke up with Shelly that day she went into the Three Broomsticks. She didn't quite get what I meant by 'I don't like you' and 'I'm breaking up with you' and instead turned around and told her friends that I said I loved her."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"'Fraid not."

"Chelsea, Remus and Sirius planned this so that we'd talk and figure out the truth."

"That seems to be the case."

At that moment, when I felt like I was about o burst with joy, Shelly came running in.

"Oh JAMSIE-PIE! I WAS SO WORRIED!"

James cringed and would have pulled away had she not just thrown herself on top of him in a gigantic hug. Something in me that had been fighting to get free finally succeeded.

I grab Shelly by the neck of her robes and yank her back wards.

"You," I'm saying, pointing at her, "are a liar."

She glares at me suddenly.

"I am not! James loves me!"

"No I don't." James answers. Shelly gasps.

"Jamsie-Pie! You have amnesia!"

Now she's rounded on me again. Crap.

"You…you…YOU MAN STEALER! You've made him think he doesn't love me!"

And then I slapped her.

Merlin that felt good.

I can hear James chuckling.

"Shelly," James is saying, "I have never loved you and I never will love you. The whole reason I was dating you," he pauses for a moment, and glances at me, "was to make Lily jealous."

I can feel a smirk on my face as a look of horror crosses onto Shelly's and she runs from the room.

Before I get to talk to James alone, the other three quarters of the Marauders and Chelsea waltz in, looking very proud of them selves.

"So Prongsie my best mate, looks as if Shelly finally got the message," Sirius says, sitting down on the end of James' bed.

"Yeah, but did you have to throw me off my broom to do it?"

"Well, we were trying to kill two birds with one stone," Remus answers, glancing at me slightly.

Chelsea walks over.

"You know, you could have just TOLD me what was going on with James and Shelly. It would have saved me a lot of pain," I tell her. She just smirks.

"I asked Remus after we eves dropped on them about what was going on. We decided that this was the best way. Besides, you probably wouldn't have believed me. Plus, I quite enjoy plotting."

I just laugh.

I still don't completely get what happened here today, but I can't help but feel a sense of hope bubling up inside of me again.

Life suddenly isn't so bad anymore.

On the contrary, life is looking good.

Life is looking very good.

* * *

**A/N:** LOOK! LOOK! I POSTED! AND IT'S A NICE LONG CHAPTER!

I just hope this makes sense.

Now, remember, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!

Well, that should be quite obvious because hey…Lily and James aren't ACTUALLY dating yet…

I find this chapter funnier than the last few I've posted. I'm quite proud of myself. If you think it's weird how much Lily's mood and demeanor changes well…that's probably because I base some of it around what I would do…and my mood bounces around a lot. Hence why she can be numb and docile and then, WHAM hysterical and mad and slightly crazy the next. Anyways, I hope your pleased with this chapter. I expect you all to review now… And don't forget to tell me if you want the story to go past their getting together!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim anything used in this story that is related to this story. The rule of three degrees of separation applies just to be safe.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** So, on the bright side, I should be getting my computer back in two weeks. Yipee!

On the not so bright side, this may end up being a short chapter because of where I want to end it for theatrical purposes… (Does that make sense? It does to me…)

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!

Oh, and now for some review responses. Even if you didn't review or your name isn't here, read anyways. There's some general info because of questions I've answered.

youkaigirl64: I'm glad you liked it but uh…what's a madrugada? It just makes me think of rutabagas.

il0v3captain0ats: Hehehe, your wonderful compliments made me smile! My computer will be please to know that you feel sorry for it. :D

The Big Dance: Oh Big Dance, you are very smart, you are! I will most certainly have another storyline…I can't have these characters just wandering around aimlessly. It won't be anything to intricate though, just a funny little storyline that'll give you wonderful readers a few more chapters.

dreamy-crazygirl: AAAAHHHHH! PRESSURE! Hehehehe.

i-heart-happyendings: You, dear reviewer, certainly know how to flatter someone (actually, a lot of you are quite skilled at flattery). Oh and don't worry about your James infatuation, I have to say I'm right there with you. Sure Harry's going to save the world…but he wouldn't exits if it wasn't for James:D Oh, and I'll be sure to read and review your story!

JAMES' FREAK: ah JF…your reviews are always so entertaining…I agree with you on the seeing what happens in the relationship…its fun!

Queen of Duct Tape: I'm glad you like Chelsea. I originally wrote her for a story I made up a while ago (it wasn't fanfiction. Just a story). I liked her a lot though, so I decided to put her in here. Actually, I changed her last name now that I think of it. 'Fanrae' is the last name of a different character I made up for another one of my stories. (yet again, not fanfiction). Man-eating toothbrushes? Well I'm ok then, I'm a girl (ba-dum-bum chhh…).

Prongsie4028: You know, both of your favorite lines ("Well I dump you, you oogling oogler!" and "Webster's my brother from another mother. We're tight, him and I.") were completely made up on the spot? I never planned them. Just a Fun Fact. :D IAAOCAG WHOO!

Ok, well, I had a lot more I wanted to respond to…but I had to cut them out (sorry!) because I've already nattered your ear off for a page and a bit. I will now shut up and allow you to read. Oh, but ONE more thing, thank you to all of you for reviewing! And extra thanks to those who answered my question. :D

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Twelve**

_**Charms – **Lily looks silly_

I do NOT look silly.

_Well you have the silliest smile on your face. Is some one haaaaapppyyyyyy?_

No.

_Hmmm…that's right. You're giddy with excitement._

I am not!

_Then WHY are you smiling that inane smile of yours…hmmmm?_

I am feeling good today.

_Oh of COURSE…because things are pleasant in the land of Lily. Especially since you're only one step away from having James feed you grapes while fanning you with a palm leaf._

Oh do shut up Chelsea.

_Why? It's true._

James and I are just friends.

_HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!_

You can stop laughing now Chelsea.

_HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!_

It's true! James and I aren't going out.

_Yet._

I guess. I mean, what if…well…he doesn't WANT to date me anymore?

_Have you been hit with an Oblivious hex? OF COURSE HE WANTS TO DATE YOU! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS WHOLE FANDANGO HAS BEEN ABOUT!_

You know, Sirius likes to use the word 'fandango'.

_I know. I learned it from him._

Oh really?

_Don't turn this around on me Lily Evans! We are talking about YOU in this diary. Not me._

Mhmm….

_Oh be quiet. It would NEVER happen. Sirius and I are just friends. Now, what HAS happened between you and James? The Halloween Dance is only a few days away._

Two to be exact. And nothing's happened.

_Liar._

I am not a liar.

_Oh you are and you know it! There's tons of sexual tension when you guys are in the same room. It's like it's been amplified by ten since your last get together in Dumbledore's office. OH MY GAWD…YOU DIDN'T!_

What? I didn't what?

_You guys didn't make out in there or anything, did you?_

WHAT!

_Um, Lils, thoughts next time, not speech. Now the whole class is looking at us. Hi James!_

Stop waving at everyone.

_Hehe…you look like a tomato._

Shut up.

_Sorry, no can do. Now, did you?_

Did I what?

_Did you make out with James?_

NO! I told you, we aren't going out!

_You don't have to be GOING out to MAKE out. Did you ALMOST kiss? And why isn't it in here? And here I thought you were being so good about documenting._

I left it in my book bag, so I couldn't record anything. And nothing happened. I just…well I fell asleep.

_You fell asleep?_

We were working late on the final plans and I was tired and fell asleep and then James…

_James what?_

He carried me to the common room.

_And?_

He put me on the couch, conjured a blanket and let me sleep there, ok?

_Yep. Absolutely peachy-keen._

Merlin you're scary when you say that.

* * *

**The Great Hall – **Setting up for the dance

Chelsea has forced me to take this with me. I told her I don't have time.

It's not that I don't WANT to 'document' everything, I'm just so busy and stressed I don't have the TIME!

James should be here soon. We have to set up for the dance.

We have about a billion decorations. Some prefects are helping but not many volunteered as everyone want to go and prep for the dance. It's four o'clock and the dance starts at six. Most of our helpers are leaving by four thirty. That means it will be just James and I for an hour and a half.

AN HOUR AND A HALF.

You see…I kind of left out a part when I told Chelsea what happened.

Yeah I know she'll go back and read this anyways, but I panicked then. James was watching. He knows we're always writing in here and my face was beet red and it was just so warm and I couldn't think straight so I left out a minor detail of what I told Chelsea.

But Chelsea better swear to tell no one when she reads this, or I'll have to kill her.

James doesn't even know that I know.

Because when he placed me on that couch, he thought I was asleep, but in actuality, I woke up the very moment he picked me up.

Because if I was asleep, he could have done what he did without me ever knowing.

Which was the point.

But I was awake when he kissed me ever so lightly on the cheek and whispered goodnight to me.

But he doesn't know.

And I have to pretend I don't know.

And oh crud here he comes.

"Hey, Lily. Where is everyone?" he asks.

I look around to see an empty Great Hall.

Just great. My helpers carry some boxes in and then bail. Nice. Real nice.

James can tell what happened from the look on my face and chuckles softly. I feel funny little butterflies in my stomach.

"Come on," he says, pulling out his wand, "we've got work to do."

I nod and go to the many boxes we have piled over by the door as James begins charm every single candle in the great hall to look like a little mini pumpkin.

"James," I say, "Don't forget to change the tables. We need to make room for a dance floor."

James nods and then starts changing the four large house tables into several small round ones which he then moved to the edges of the room. I start putting the orange and black table cloths on them.

James, going to every table I've just put a cloth on, is setting something in the middle.

It looks like a picture and as I draw closer, I see it's a photo of Sirius who looks like he's just been run over by a truck. This picture was obviously taken right after he woke up.

I have to desperately fight the urge to laugh.

"James." I say, holding up the photo. I tap my foot and he just smirks and says, "Lily, it's the scariest thing you'll ever see. Trust me."

I roll my eyes and then take every photo from him and put them in my pocket.

"It's too scary," I tell him, smirking.

"Yeah, yeah, you just want pictures of Sirius."

"Oh drat, you figured it out," I say, smirking. James laughs and I can feel myself blushing.

Which, to my utter horror, makes me blush even more.

We work in silence for a while.

And it's driving me insane.

He's standing beside me, right now, helping me set up a stereo system and I can actually FEEL the heat radiating off him.

And I can smell him.

And Merlin does he ever smell fantastic.

Oh crap. He just caught me staring.

I laugh nervously and look away.

He stands up and turns to me.

"Do you have the records?"

I nod.

"Do you want to play them now? So we have something to listen to while we finish up? This silence is deafening."

I nod and put on one of my favorite muggle Halloween-ish records.

The soundtrack to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Soon, the sounds of the Time Warp fill the Great Hall.

And James Potter is looking at me as if I'm insane.

Which I most likely am, especially since I've begun to dance.

"Lily, how is this a Halloween song?"

"Because it's the Rocky HORROR Picture Show," I tell him.

I think it's Halloween-ish.

But I'm the dancing crazy girl. No one should ever listen to a dancing crazy girl.

James, however, doesn't seem to know this, and my answer satisfies him.

Either that, or he's enjoying watching me dance.

Which makes me freeze.

"No, no, don't stop, you're quite entertaining."

"Oh sod off, Potter."

"And there's the use of my last name. My cue to shut up."

"Hmm, so you're not as dense as I thought."

We're smiling at eachother.

And there are those darn butterflies again. Except they're bigger. Fatter maybe.

Oh my gawd….can you SEE someone's stomach butterflies!

James is sort of staring at me.

What if he can tell there's these giant, over-weight butterflies flapping around in my stomach!

"Lily, are you alright? You look as if you just swallowed a bug."

OH MY GAWD. BUTTERFLIES ARE BUGS!

"Lily?"

I think I'm going to be sick.

"Lily? You've gone pale, are you alright?"

And then, I sort of crumple because James Potter can SEE my stomach butterflies. And he catches me, which only makes them multiply.

James lowers me to the ground so I'm sitting.

"You can see them can't you?" I croak.

"What?" James asks. He looks confused.

"My gigantic over-weight stomach butterflies," I mumble, hiding my face in my hands.

James, who is sitting on the floor beside me, actually has the nerve to laugh.

"Lily, you're mad. I can't see any stomach butterflies, skinny nor over-weight."

And peeping through my fingers I glance at my stomach and I want to die because of course he can't see them.

I can't even see them.

James chuckles and pulls me to my feet.

"Come on Lily, it's almost six and we still have things to do,"

Yeah, like find my brain.

Visible stomach butterflies.

Merlin save me.

This is what you've done to me James Potter.

This is what you've done.

* * *

**The Great Hall **– the dance

I would like to take the time right now that James and I are the BEST DANCE PLANNERS EVER!

People have dressed up in costumes even, as we said that you could. In fact, James and I are the only two that haven't.

We didn't have time, you see. After setting up, it was six, and people were already waiting so we just started the music and voila, the Halloween Dance was born.

And I'd like to state right now that even the teachers danced to the Time Warp when it played a few moment s ago.

_Stop congratulating yourself Lily and come have fun! But document it._

I am documenting Chelsea.

_Just run one of the spells! It's simpler._

Fine, fine.

* * *

** Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

Lily stuffed her diary into her robes and looked up at her best friend who was dressed as an alien.

"Nice antennae," Lily said, smirking. Chelsea smiled and shook her head, making the pipe-cleaner antennae bobble around.

Just then, the Marauders sauntered up.

"Well, Lily, I must say, you and Prongsie here did a fab job of the party. I loved the shrunken Slytherin's heads on the buffet table."

Lily's jaw fell.

"What! JAMES!"

James tried to play innocent.

"Yes, Lily dearest?"

Lily let out a muffled scream.

"Change them back! Dumbledore will be furious!"

"Dumbledore will never know!"

"What will Dumbledore never know?"

Everyone froze and looked up at the one and only Albus Dumbledore who was dressed entirely in thick woolen fabric.

"Sir, nothing, Sir," Sirius quipped, saluting Dumbledore and plying the part of the zombie soldier he was dressed as. Remus, who was dressed in a toga, elbowed Sirius, "Shush, you prat."

Dumbledore smiled bemusedly at them all.

"I just came over to tell you how pleased I am with you, Lily and James. You two make a wonderful team. Perhaps, you will decide to finally take me up on my offer, James? Oh, and at some point in the dear future, would you please change the Slytherins back to their normal selves?"

Dumbledore held James' gaze for a moment, winked and then in a swish of large, woolen fabric, he was gone.

James and Remus shared a look after that, and Remus nodded slightly. Sirius looked confused, but it had nothing to do with what Dumbledore had said.

"What's he dressed as?" he asked.

Everyone looked at each other, and shrugged.

Everyone that is, except Lily.

"A sock," she said simply.

The group looked back at Dumbledore who was by the buffet table. They all smirked, making the connection.

Peter, who was 'creatively' dressed as a rat, tipped his head sideways and squinted.

"I don't see it," he said. Sirius laughed.

"Don't fret, Wormtail. No one expected you to."

They all laughed and soon Lily and James found themselves wandering off on their own into a quiet hallway.

"What was Dumbledore talking about back there? About taking him up on his offer?" Lily asked, once they had found a place to sit in the hallway.

James let out a sigh.

"At the beginning of the year, Dumbledore sent me a letter telling me I was Head Boy. I sent him a letter back telling him I wouldn't do it."

"But why not?"

"Because I knew we'd probably yell and scream and never get anything done."

"Oh."

"But I guess now, since we're friends, he wants us to work together the rest of the year."

"Is Remus ok with this?"

"Yeah, he knew. I think he fully supports Dumbledore."

"This was all some twisted plan of theirs, wasn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"This whole dance thing," Lily said, standing up suddenly, "They planned it so that we would sort our differences finally realize that we both genuinely liked each other even more than just friends and then we'd be Heads, just like Dumbledore always wanted."

And suddenly a look of horror spread over Lily's face as she realized what she had said.

James stood up, a small smile on his lips.

"Actually, that reminds me, Lily?"

"Yes, James?" Lily asked, her voice laced with hesitation.

"Wanna go on a date?"

He asked it so easily she had to pause and actually think about it.

And she paused even longer to actually relish the joy of hearing those words she hadn't heard all year. They used to be thrown around all the time, but now, they actually meant something to her.

She could tell he was getter nervous, and decided that now was a good time to answer.

"Yes, James, I'd love to."

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated>**

* * *

**A/N: **OK, so I thought this chapter was going to be shorter and in actuality… turned out to be pretty long…

AND THEY GOT TOGETHER! Ahahaha, I'm happy.

Now, since I've been told you'd like more (and I want to write more) there will be a few chapters after this. I've got some good ideas. I'm not sure exactly how many there will be… We'll see. Forgive me for typos…It's late and I'm tired and I was typing fast. I'll try to fix them ASAP. If you have any ideas for the story, I'd be glad to hear them! And don't forget to review! (You all seem very good at this! You get a gold star!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **I'd like to say I own everything…but that would be a lie.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** First, it was brought to my attention that I apparently disabled anonymous reviews. I however, did not. I fixed the problem though. Second, this has taken me longer than expected to start writing. It's been rather hectic with work and car stuff and friends. The thing that prompted me was all your flattering reviews! Honestly, you are all just too kind (but don't you dare stop!). Anyways, here are some responses:

Jibs AND PadfootLotte: YES! You commented on the sock! I was so happy. :D

The Big Dance: A nice long review, excellent! I honestly don't know where I came up with the overweight butterflies or any other crazy stuff I've put in. It just pops into my head. I'm usually afraid you guys won't think it's funny so I'm happy you do! Oh, and as to that rumor about no review responses, I can't find anything in the guideline saying I can't. It just says to keep them short. Well…I'll work on that then.

il0v3captain0ats: Wow! I'm so glad that both of you love this story so much! Thanks for the condolences about my computer.

Prongsie4028: A fandango is (well, this is how I would define it) a crazy situation. The dictionary definition is….. 'nonsense or tomfoolery' (which is pretty much the same thing. Oh hey look…it's also a Spanish or Spanish-American dance in triple time…oooo…). IAAOCAG WHOOPIE! (lol…)

i-heart-happyendings: I find that those little dancing men have very pointy shoes.

JAMES' FREAK: There isn't anything wrong with being spy-like (ahem…my name IS SuperSpy). It's the stalker-ishness that gets me. But look, I'm updating…so no worries then. :D

Queen of Duct Tape: NOT THE MOLDY EVIL CHEEZ-ITS OF TERROR THAT SMELL SLIGHTLY OF FEBREEZE! IAAOCAG is the group that Prongsie4028 and I have started. It stands for: Inanimate And Animate Objects Conspiracy Awareness Group. (Are you terrorized by soup cans dive bombing you from cupboards? Do doorways seem to always get in your way? Do squirrels seem to chatter evilly in your presence? You are not alone! Join IAAOCAG today!)

Dreamy-crazygirl: College…I was there briefly. Except I'm not old enough to ACTUALLY go there. It was for this singing thing in the summer. Lol. Yeah, Felicity did have crazy hair….I'm glad you enjoyed it and found time to review!

Ok, aaaahhh….I have to stop. I'm going to try and keep these shorter. There were so many more of you that I wanted to reply to….sigh Anyways, thank you for reviewing and this time, to go with your gold stars, you get some nice magical silver pixie dust!

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter 13**

**Breakfast – **The day of the DATE

Oh my gawd. I'm so excited.

_I don't blame you! You're finally going on a date with your husband!_

Ok, that just sounds weird.

_Yeah, I guess it sort of does._

I'm so nervous though. What if I mess it all up?

_I don't see how you could…but…knowing you…_

Thanks Chelsea, that's really comforting.

_I'm here to help._

The word 'date' has all this pressure attached to it.

_Then call it something else._

Like what? 'Etad'?

_Whatever floats your boat. I think that has a nice ring to it. Watch, it'll sweep through the nation. We'll have single handedly wiped the word 'date' from the English vocabulary!_

Except then the word 'etad' will have all the pressure of the word 'date' and I'll be right back where I started.

_Good point. Oh look. Here comes James. Aww and look, he's sitting across from you and smiling. How sweet. Awwww…and look at little Lilykins blush!_

Oh stuff it.

_Where are you to going for your nice etad anyways?_

I don't know.

_You don't?_

He never said.

_Well ASK!_

"James, about our etad—I mean date, where are we going?"

"Sorry, it's a secret Lily. Just meet me in the entrance hall at six."

"Um, alright."

_Ooooo a secret. It's probably forbidden. How romantic._

Unless we got caught.

_HAHAHA yeah can you imagine Filch stumbling in on you two snogging? He'd have a heart attack._

I guess a lot of people would.

_Only the oblivious ones._

Perhaps you're right.

_Oh, that reminds me. You'd better be taking this diary along with you on your etad._

Nuh-uh, no way. I don't want you reading all about my date.

_I'll find out anyways._

I'm not taking it.

_You just don't want to share all the risqué details._

Precisely. Now come on, we have Potions.

* * *

**Lunch –** Only a couple more hours till the ETAD

I wonder where he's going to take me?

_Like I said, someplace students aren't supposed to go. It'll be all dangerous and romantic. Except I hope he realizes it'll put you in a complete panic._

It will not. I'm not that much of a goody-two shoes. I can be dangerous. Are you forgetting that it was I who strung James' boxers from the common room ceiling?

_Sadly, that day is cemented in my memory for all eternity. Although, looking back on it, it is pretty funny. At the time it wasn't._

Yeah.

_Oh, I just remembered, I read your nice entry about the dance. Overweight stomach butterflies, Lils?_

I'll admit that it wasn't one of my shining moments, ok?

_You can say that again._

Maybe Sirius will know where he's taking me?

_Yeah, he does. I asked him in Transfiguration._

DID HE TELL YOU?

_No. He said it had to stay a secret._

Grrr….

"James. Please? Can't you tell me where we're going?"

DON'T JUST SMILE AND SHAKE YOUR HEAD AT ME JAMES POTTER!

Prat.

_Oh Lily calm down. And don't forget! You're taking this diary with you!_

Oh no I'm not!

_DOCUMENTATION LILY!_

NO.

_Spoil sport._

* * *

**Last Class of the Day –** Herbology

_Oh my gawd. What IS this thing?_

The Tarantrepidatilius plant.

_Does it have to be so slimy?_

Apparently.

_And we have to stick out hand IN it?_

Apparently.

_And rub its throat?_

Apparently.

_Just so that it spits out one measly seed?_

Apparently.

_I say we just take an ax to the thing._

Except then Professor 'Plants-have-feelings-too' would take an ax to US.

_Excellent point. One throat rub coming right up._

Look at James. He's already on his sixth plant.

_As much as I'd love to, I kind of have my arm down a plant's throat._

I really want to know where he's going to take me.

_Uh, Lily? A little help here…_

Where could we go? If it's so secret then it can't the usual places like the astronomy tower or even out on the grounds by the lake. And it's not a Hogsmade weekend…

_Lily? Seriously…something's not right here…It's not spitting anything up and my arm is well…kind of stuck…_

Maybe if I try and inch closer to them I could over hear what they're saying…

_LILY! LILY GET BACK HERE! LILY! SAVE ME FROM THIS DERANGED PLANT!_

Oh damn, he sees me.

"Lily, for the last time, I'm not telling you. You'll just have to wait."

_LILY! SAVE ME! IT'S EATING MY ARM! DO I HAVE TO SCREAM OUT LOUD? CAN YOU NOT SEE THE GIANT SLIMY GREEN THING EATING MY ARM?_

Well there goes that plan.

"Um, Lily, what's wrong with Chelsea?" Sirius asks me. So I look over.

"LILY EVANS! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND SAVE ME FROM THIS PSYCOTIC PLANT!"

Oh damn.

So I run over to Chelsea and soon the Marauders join me in trying to wrench Chelsea's arm from the plants slimy grasp. Soon, we get it free. Chelsea looks at her slime covered, pink arm, then looks at me.

"Rub its throat, my arse."

* * *

**Entrance Hall –** My documentation

Chelsea told me that because I almost let her get eaten by a deranged slimy plant that I have to document everything for her. She tells me that this is the only way that I can make up for it.

So here I am, waiting for James and documenting it.

And still waiting.

And still documenting.

Where is he?

"Hey Lily."

Oh thank Merlin he's here. I was starting to panic. What if he HAD stood me up? Not that he would, obviously, since he's here. Oh right Lily, you're supposed to say 'Hi' back.

"Hi, James."

"Ready?" he asks.

Well, now, that's a very hard question because I don't think I can really walk right now. My legs feel very unstable. Did you HAVE to come here right after you showered so that your hair is all wet and you smell wonderful? But I can't exactly say that, now can I?

"Yes, I'm ready."

Ah yes, so much simpler this way. Ok legs... aaaaand WALK! Very good.

So we're walking and as we make our way through the winding maze of the corridors James takes my hand.

KEEP WALKING LEGS! DON'T COP OUT ON ME NOW!

And breathe. That's right. In…out…in…out…

Oh no. The stomach butterflies are back.

And they still haven't been to Weight Watchers.

"Lily, are you alright? You look kind of pale."

Oh my gawd. Deja vu... just remain calm. He CANNOT see them. We learned this last time.

"Yes, I'm fine."

And so he smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

Which doesn't help.

But I'm not about to complain.

We keep walking and slowly make our way up to the astronomy tower. Everyone's at dinner, so it's empty.

"James, what's so secret about the astronomy tower? Lot's of people come here for etads."

"We're not there yet. And what did you just call this?"

Oh crap.

"I called it a date."

When in doubt. Lie. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No you didn't, you called it an 'etad'."

Well Mr. Potter, if you KNEW what I called it then WHY did you ASK?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, putting on an air of superiority. James just laughs and squeezes my hand again.

"Come on," he says, "we have to go through here."

He leads me over to a brick wall and taps four times on seven different bricks. Then there's a panel that moves to reveal a walkway on a rampart of the castle.

Chelsea, youwere right. We aren't supposed to be here. It's going to be dangerous and romantic. I can't help but smile.

James is leading me out onto the rampart.

"Ok, now jump."

WHAT! I'm sorry, but that's a little TOO dangerous.

"Excuse me?" I say, panicking

"Come on Lily? Don't you trust me?"

I did…

UNTILL YOU ASKED ME TO JUMP OFF THE BLOODY CASTLE!

But…but James wouldn't let me get hurt, right?

Well, I hope not.

I walk to the edge of the rampart and look over. There's nothing there but some more castle.

Lots of large pointy castle that will impale me when I fall to my doom.

I gulp as I climb up on the edge of the rampart and pray that I'm not about to do something very stupid.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Not that I make a habit of jumping off castles.

I glance down again and then back at James, who is watching me with this funny twinkle in his eyes.

I close my eyes.

And I jump.

And I'm falling.

And I'm swearing very loudly.

And then I land with a loud 'THUMP' in a pile of pillows.

ThankMerlin for pillows.

A second later, James lands beside me.

"You are horrible," I tell him.

He just laughs again.

And then my breath catches in my throat as I look at where we are.

We're sitting on this flat bit of castle that I'm guessing James charmed into appearing empty. From it you can see all the grounds around Hogwarts. And the sun is setting so the sky is pink, shot with gold and amber. I feel a smile creeping up onto my face.

"This is…this is amazing."

"I thought you'd like it. For a moment I was worried you didn't trust me enough to jump."

I smile suavely.

It's all an act. I'm really not suave at all.

I look around the landing that we're on. He's set up a candle lit picnic. The whole landing is surrounded by candles of varying shapes, colours and sizes.

"You know," I said, smirking, "You're lucky I didn't jump too far and land on a candle."

"Oh don't worry. I had Sirius jump off numerous different ways to make sure you couldn't."

I smile and laugh. All that nervousness and tension I felt before?

It's all just slipping away.

Just like that.

"Come on," James is saying, "We should eat."

So we move over to the picnic blanket and he grabs the picnic basket and pulls out two turkey sandwiches complete with miracle whip and cranberry sauce.

I'm going to marry this man.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"Know what?"

"That my favorite sandwich in the whole world is turkey with miracle whip and cranberry sauce?"

"I know a lot of things about you, Lily."

"That's almost stalker-ish, James."

But I could care less because as I say this I'm already biting into the best sandwich in the world.

We eat in comfortable silence.

'Comfortable' meaning wrought with sexual tension.

Well, that's what Chelsea would call it.

I can feel him watching me.

But I shouldn't really talk because I'm watching him as much as he's watching me.

And I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"Now, time for desert," he says, pulling out two slices of fruit flan.

"You, James, are amazing."

"You should thank the house elves. They made it."

"Noted."

And I sit here, munching away my fruit flan with a look of pure ecstasy on my face.

I finish up and I move back over to the pile of pillows to lean back and look up at the sky.

James soon moved over next to me and I leaned against him.

Everything just feels so…natural.

That when I saw the grapes in James' hand.

And I watched in fascination as he took a grape and put it to my lips.

And so I ate it.

He smiled.

Didn't I write about this? Way back on the train?

Albeit in my fantasy James was shirtless and was also fanning me with a palm leaf…but this will do. I giggled.

Oh my. I GIGGLED.

I can't believe I actually giggled.

James smirks and says, "Chelsea told me you'd enjoy this."

I don't know whether I want to hit Chelsea or hug her.

"Except in my fantasy you were also shirtless and fanning me with a palm leaf."

OH MY GAWD.

I slap a hand over my mouth.

James however is smirking.

How could I let that slip out!

HOW?

"Well, that can be arranged."

Did he just say what Ithink he said?

"Except, it's a bit chilly right now for that," he adds.

I hadn't noticed the before. Close proximity to James Potter does that to a girl.

Now that he's mentioned it however, I feel the chill biting at my skin.

I shiver.

"Yeah, it is cold."

I move closer to him, hoping to steal some warmth.

And smell his wonderful smell.

"I can fix that," he says.

He leans down, and when he's mere millimeters away from my lips he pauses.

So what do I do?

I close that frickin' gap because I can't stand it any longer.

And I feel James smile against my lips as he kisses me.

And I obviously kiss him back.

And because I've just remembered why I'm recording all of this when I know that every moment of this night will be seared into my brain for the rest of my life, I'm going to stop documenting, dear Chelsea, and divert my full attention to James.

* * *

**A/N:** Now don't flip out over the last line. This isn't the last chapter. That was just how I felt like ending the chapter. And besides, Lily has a very nice point. 

I'm hoping that I'll be able to get the next chapter up later this week… 'Hoping' being the operative word. I still have yet to get my own computer back.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the 'Mush Chapter' as I called it in my head. Oh, and please forgive any typos, I've tried to catch them all…

Don't forget to review! (And enjoy your magical silver pixie dust!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim. I lay no claim for I have no claim. Therefore, I disclaim.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** I got my computer back! Finally! And the screen doesn't turn green anymore! Yay!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I didn't have time, and then I was away for the weekend and then school started…But no bother, I'm here now and I'm typing frantically. Thank you for all your fabulous reviews. You're all fantastic. Depending on my energy levels, there may be a few review responses at the bottom.

Oh except for one I'll do right now because it was a question.

Flaring Phoenix: No, the Divination teacher isn't Trelawny. She's just another crazy lady who I never actually gave a name for some reason…

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Fourteen**

**D.A.D.A. –** trying to learn

What do you want Chelsea?

_I WANT to hex you for stopping there!_

Well you didn't actually EXPECT me to give you more details than that, did you?

_YES!_

Well, sorry, but no can do.

_Lily! I'm your best friend! Don't I have special privileges or something?_

No.

_Lily!_

Chelsea!

_Lily! You know you WANT to tell me so cut the crap and get on with it!_

I don't know what you're talking about.

_Yeah and that's why you're smiling like a lunatic._

Well, maybe I would have told you if you hadn't told James about the grapes.

_Oh come on, you enjoyed it. Your diary says so._

I was momentarily incapacitated.

_Momentarily?_

Fine, I couldn't think straight the entire time.

_And?_

And it was glorious.

_Now dish the dirt my redheaded friend._

Well….you know what happened…we kissed.

_Yeah…but what was it like? Did you melt? Did you sizzle? Did you float on air?_

All of that and more. It was perfect.

_Hm… so James is a good kisser. Definitely a positive attribute._

Look at him. He looks so handsome with his messed up hair…

_Have you and James talked about your relationship?_

What do you mean?

_Well, have you talked about…expectations?_

What do you mean by 'expectations'?

_Well, to put it bluntly, how far does James expect you to go?_

Why? How far do YOU think he expects me to go?

_I don't know. That's why I asked._

Well James wouldn't push me to do anything.

_Of course not._

He's not like that.

_He has a rep though…_

CHELSEA! You're supposed to be reassuring me! Not freaking me out!

_I don't MEAN to freak you out…it's just boys are different about these things._

But James wouldn't---

_I know._

Then why---

_I don't know._

But what if he does---

_Forget I said anything._

What if you're ri---

_I was being stupid. You're right. James would never do that._

Right.

_Right._

* * *

_**Super Secret Spy Mission** – The Boys Dormitory_

I can't believe we're doing this. And excuse me, but 'Super Secret Spy Mission'?

_What? I thought it sounded nice._

You're mental.

_And proud of it._

What are we looking for again?

_Actually, I have no idea._

Oh what a brilliant plan Miss Super Spy.

_Well maybe he has a journal or something that would tell us what he expects?_

That is the most crackpot idea I've ever heard.

_Well you---_

What was that noise?

_What noise?_

THAT ONE!

_Oh my gawd._

THE BOYS!

* * *

_**Super Secret Spy Mission** – On top of a toilet in the boys dorm bathroom_

We're dead. We're so very, very DEAD.

_Just breathe. Quietly._

They're going to CATCH US.

_Lily, calm down._

And then James is going to break up with me.

_Lily, be realistic._

AND IT'S ALL BEACAUSE YOU PUT A STUPID IDEA IN MY HEAD AND THEN CAME UP WITH THIS IDIOTIC PLAN!

_LILY! SHUT UP! THE BOYS ARE TALKING!_

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording> **

"Was it just me, or did Lily seem fidgety at dinner?" Sirius asked, looking at his friends as he plopped down on his bed.

"Yeah, she seemed nervous," Remus acknowledged.

James sighed, "You don't think she regrets going out with me, does she?"

"I don't know, James," Remus started, "I doubt she would. Unless you did something to make her…nervous."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"What Remus is trying to say is that she might be nervous and fidgety if you tried to force her to be your love slave," Sirius explained bluntly. Remus glared.

" 'Love slave' isn't exactly the term I would have used."

"But James wouldn't do that," Peter suddenly piped up, "He cares too much about Lily."

"At least someone has some faith in me," James muttered bitterly.

In the bathroom, standing precariously on top of a toilet in one of stalls, Chelsea elbowed Lily.

"See," she whispered, "This mission is a success! We now know James would never force you to do anything!"

"Which I knew all along! The only reason I doubted him was because _you_ freaked me out!"

Meanwhile, back in the dorm, the boys were still discussing James.

"Well, Peter obviously has a very good point. James would never hurt Lily," Remus commented.

"Yeah, how silly of us to ever think otherwise. He all but kissed the ground she walks on!" Sirius said, cackling delightedly.

"Well I wouldn't go _that_ far," James said indignantly.

"Oh stuff it Prongs, we're right and you know it!" Sirius said, smirking at his friend.

"James, Sirius is right. You're so infatuated with her you'd do anything to make her happy. Even, dare I say it, give up Quidditch," Remus said.

"Guys, you're exaggerating just a little. Besides, Lily likes watching me play Quidditch…" James finished, a slight look of uncertainty on his face. He'd sincerely hoped she did.

"Oh right Jamsies, you say that now that you're dating her. A few weeks ago you were a sad, mopey little wet weed."

"I was not---"

"He's right, James," Remus interjected.

"He must have forgotten everything before the Time of Lily," Sirius mussed.

That's when, due to some laughter from Chelsea, the diary fell with a dreadfully loud 'SPLUNKISH!' into the toilet. The two girls froze I horror.

"What was that?" James asked, standing up from the bed he was sitting on. Sirius stood up as well.

"Wormtail, go check it out," Sirius said, shoving his small, pudgy friend towards the bathroom door.

Peter, quaking, made his way into the bathroom.

Lily and Chelsea stood in shock on the rim of the toilet, watching the waterproof diary bob around in the toilet, still avidly reading the words appearing on the page.

"It's freaky how it does that," Chelsea whispered. Lily slapped and shushed her.

But the damage was done, and Peter, who happened to have very good hearing, scampered over to the stall. He pushed open the door to see Chelsea and Lily standing on the edge of the toilet seat, Lily, reaching down to pull out a diary from the bowel.

Chelsea's eyes widened and she shook her head violently as Peter opened his mouth to call out to his friends.

"Is anything in there, Wormy?" Sirius asked. The other Marauders were crowded around the bathroom door.

"No, nothing…"

Chelsea and Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, a wicked look crossed Peter's face.

"…except for Lily and Chelsea hiding in the toilet."

"Squealer," Chelsea muttered.

"What!" the boys exclaimed, stumbling haphazardly into the bathroom and over to the stall.

"Lily! What are you doing?" James asked, staring at his girlfriend in shock.

"Hi James. Well you see…"

Lily trailed off, not quite sure how to explain herself. She took a deep breath.

"ChelseafreakedmeoutsayingthatyouexpectedthingsfrommeandsowehadtocomefindoutifthatwastrueI'msosorryI'llneverbelieveheragainIshouldhaveknownyou'dneverforcemetodosomethingIwouldn'twanttodo."

"Um, sorry Lily, sweat heart, I didn't quite catch all of that," James said, smirking slightly.

Lily looked like she was about to faint.

"Oh for heaven's sake. I freaked Lily out saying that you might expect things from her that were rather presumptuous so we came here to find evidence that might state otherwise and then when you guys came here we hid in the bathroom," Chelsea explained.

Sirius burst out laughing, "What were you looking for, a diary?"

The girls blushed, embarrassed.

"Lily, why didn't you just talk to me?" James asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"I...I dunno…I just…You're not mad are you?"

"No, of course not. Besides, now you know," he said, smiling. Lily smiled brightly and hugged him.

Remus laughed and left the room, amused by the absurdity of the situation.

Sirius was smiling delightedly.

"So," he said, speaking to Chelsea, "You started this whole entire thing? You caused all this havoc with Lily acting weird and then dragging her up here to snoop and eves drop?"

"Well, yeah, when you put it that way…"

Sirius hugged her.

"I've always loved a girl who causes mischief and mayhem."

Chelsea blushed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

James chuckled, "Come on love birds, lets go play some exploding snap."

"We're not love birds," Chelsea reprimanded.

A funny look crossed Sirius' face.

"Why not?"

And that was when a bright smile engulfed Chelsea's entire being.

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated>**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **OK, so I figured that was a good place to end it. I'm not sure how many more chapters there's going to be. There will be…two a tleast. Maybe three? I'm not sure. There might be more…It all depends what ideas pop into my head. This chapter, originally, was different. I changed it though because it works a little bit better. Anyways, please review and forgive me for typos…I tried to catch them but it's late and I'm tired.

PS: I'm sorry I'm not posting any responses this time…I'm literally falling asleep as I type this…But I give you all a nice big cupcake with rainbow sprinkles that will make any wish come true just for being such wonderful reviewers.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** If I said I owned this, my nose would grow. A lot.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** You know, I never thought this story would be 15 chapters long. And here it is, fifteen chapters. It's crazy. Oh, I almost forgot. I went back and read the entire thing and I noticed that no one ever commented on all of the Marauder's Halloween costumes. Some commented on Dumbledore's (which was a sock…which was obvious). I'll now explain my crazy hidden meaning in them.

Sirius: he was a dead/zombie soldier. Cut out the zombie part and then remember the end of book five.

Remus: He was dressed in a toga. This is simply drawn from his name which is Remus. Ever heard of Remus and Romulus? Oh and get this…they were raised by a she-wolf…J.K Rowling is so cool. I love all the meanings behind the names.

Peter: ok, this is an easy one. He was dressed as a rat. His animagus is a rat. Oh hey, and he IS a filthy rat who 'ratted' out James and Lily's where abouts. Grrrrr…..

Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans** **Chapter Fifteen**

**History of Magic – **Not paying attention. 

Sirius and Chelsea sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!

_Ha! Riiight. Sirius…married?_

Who knows, you may be the girl to change his bachelor ways.

_I doubt that. I just like him so I'm willing to take all I can get._

Oh be more optimistic.

_Sirius isn't James, Lily. James would have married you back in fifth year. Sirius will always be a bachelor. And honestly, I don't know if I'd want to be tied down either. I like freedom._

Yeah, yeah, Miss. Flirt. Anyways, you're still going on a date, right?

_Yeah of course. We haven't picked a day yet though._

Hm…I see.

_What about you and your husband? It's been a week since you've written in here._

Well I've been busy.

_Yeah, with your tongue down Potter's throat, no doubt._

I resent that.

_And yet you don't deny it…_

…hehehe…

_Hahaha, I love it when you get embarrassed. Your face goes redder than a stop sign._

Oh sod off.

* * *

_**Charms – **URGENT!_

_Lily! LILY!_

What? What's wrong? I only just sat down.

_I was talking to Sirius in the hallway._

And I was talking to James…so?

_Well I asked him about going on a date tomorrow night and he got all panicky and said that he couldn't._

I see. I thought this thing with Sirius wasn't a big deal to you?

_Well ok, so I lied a bit. I at least want to go on ONE date with him before I'm tossed aside._

Ha! I knew it. Ok, well he just said he couldn't tomorrow night. Did you offer another day?

_Well…no. But neither did he. He just hurried inside!_

Hmm, I wonder what's up. He didn't say why he was busy?

_No…Maybe he changed his mind? Maybe he doesn't want to go out with me anymore?_

I doubt that.

_Lily, what should I do?_

I'll talk to James.

* * *

**Gryffindor Common Room – **going to talk to James

Hm…where is James?

Oh there he is.

Chelsea's really worried about all of this. I don't blame her. I'd be worried if James told me he was busy but didn't tell me why. Not that he ever would. Thank Merlin.

"Hey James," I say, smiling at him and then to the other Marauder's at the table, "can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Yeah, sure, what is it Lily?" James asks, as we make our way over to a quiet corner of the common room.

"Sirius still wants to go out with Chelsea, right?"

"Hell yes. He hasn't stopped talking about her. Why do you ask?"

"She just freaked out cause he said he was busy tomorrow night and never said why."

"Oh, see."

Is it just me, or does James look a bit panicky?

"James," I say.

"Yes, Lily?"

"Do you want to do something tomorrow night?"

I know I'm being blatantly obvious in my scheming here, but I don't care because I swear James looks freaked out now.

"Um…I'm sorry Lily, but I can't."

"Why not?"

He knows this is a test. He can tell. He's sweating.

"Well…all of us Marauder's are busy…um…well…planning a prank."

I eye him warily.

"Why didn't Sirius just tell Chelsea that?"

"We like to keep our pranks secret," James says, looking slightly more confident, "So please, don't say anything. You can tell Chelsea to calm her down, though."

My eye's narrow. There's something odd about this.

"All right," I say as I smile and kiss him on the cheek, "See you later James."

* * *

**Divination – **Discussion in Progress

_There's something wrong here, Lily_.

I know. But what can we do about it?

_Well…we could…oh never mind._

What?

_No, it's a stupid idea. It will only get us in trouble. Just like all of my other ideas._

Well true, but mine aren't much better, and the last one didn't end so badly.

_Yeah but this one is…well it's just not a good thing._

Oh. Well I guess we'll find out tomorrow morning if they lied.

_Yeah. For once, I really hope they pull a prank._

* * *

**The Grounds – **A STUPID Spy Mission

I can't believe we're out here. What were we thinking?

_I saw them out here. I just looked out the window and there they were, running across the grounds in the middle of the night._

Because they're pulling a prank…

_Right, of course. But there's no harm in checking_. 

We really shouldn't be doing this. I'd go ballistic if James followed me around secretly.

_That's why I didn't suggest this before…but I HAVE to know what's going on._

Did you see where they went?

_No. I'm switching this over to documenting mode._

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording **

Lily, stuffed her diary in her pocket and huddled slightly closer to Chelsea.

"I'm not sure about this, Chelsea. It's too quiet," Lily said, shivering.

"Yeah, between the shivers I'm getting and the full moon, it's pretty freaky out here," Chelsea acknowledged, wrapping her cloak even tighter around herself. She didn't notice that Lily had stopped walking and was now looking up at the sky.

"The full moon…" she murmured, a sudden look of horror dawning on her face.

"What? What is it Lily?" Chelsea asked, coming to stand closer to Lily.

There was a sudden howl heard in the distance.

"Oh my gawd, we're so stupid. How could I not have noticed?" Lily said under her breath.

"Lily? What's going on? What was that noise?"

"It's…It's Remus. Come on, we have to get out of here."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Chelsea said, grabbing Lily's arm as she turned to run back to the castle, "I don't get what's going on."

"We don't have time! We have to get out of here! NOW!" Lily yanked Chelsea after her as she began to sprint up to the castle.

"What? Lily I don't---"

A crash and another howl was heard from the trees at the edge of the forbidden forest. Lily froze in her tracks and looked back. There, staring directly at them, was a wolf. A werewolf.

"Is that…what I think it is?" Chelsea asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"Well, that depends on what you think it is," Lily said as she grabbed Chelsea's hand and started running again.

"But Lily, does that mean that _Remus_ is a…?" Chelsea trailed off as Lily yanked her up the hill.

"Unfortunately."

That's when they heard the growling and the lumbering of a large animal chasing after them. Then, there was barking. Chelsea turned to look just as a big black dog jumped and caught the werewolf in the middle, throwing it off course. Lily had stopped running also, but for another reason.

A large stag stood in from of her, a panicked look in it's eyes. Lily stood, dumbstruck, as her brain suddenly put everything together.

"Prongs….James…" she whispered, "so that's how you do it…animals won't be affected if they get bit…"

The stag almost seemed to nod, and then noticed something behind them. Lily spun around.

There, loping across the grounds was the werewolf advancing on them quickly. The shaggy black dog was chasing it, trying desperately to catch up.

"Padfoot…Sirius…" Lily muttered. Chelsea backed up beside Lily as the powerfully built stag put it's self between the werewolf and the girls. Padfoot was gaining on Remus, but he would reach James and the girls first. The werewolf lunged, attacking the stag.

Lily screamed and would have run to James' aid had Chelsea not stopped.

"Are you crazy?" she yelled, "You'll be killed!"

Lily was crying as James fought off the werewolf, bucking and galloping, trying to lead it away from the girls. The werewolf lashed out, striking the stag's side and causing a large slash to open up and blood to spill out.

Lily screamed, tears pouring down her face, and wrenched herself from Chelsea's grasp. She ran to James and bent over him, "James! Oh my gawd…" She ripped the sleeve of her cloak off and pressed it to his wound. James, she noticed, was starting to change back to his normal self.

The werewolf was advancing slowly on it's prey, but Sirius had finally caught up and threw his self at it again, this time biting it on the back of the neck and dragging it away. The two animals soon disappeared into the forest.

James was lying on the ground, blood seeping from the gash in his side.

"Oh James…I'm so sorry…I'm so stupid…I shouldn't have been out here but I forgot about Remus and---"

"You knew?" he asked, his breathing ragged.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

James smiled weakly. Chelsea stood nearby and was looking nervous and confused.

"Chelsea? Maybe you should go and get a teacher?" Lily suggested gently.

"Yeah…good idea…" she said, then scurried off to head up to the school. Lily turned back to James.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"I've been better."

Lily smiled and brushed his hair away from is eyes, "I was so scared."

"Me too."

Lily laughed slightly.

"Gawd, why does everything seem to be going so horribly this year?" she asked, looking up at the sky, as if it would give her the answers.

"Things aren't _that_ bad, are they? I mean, look at us, we finally got our act together."

"That seems to be the only good product."

James smirked. Lily saw Sirius, still in his dog form, coming up the hill, covered in scratches. Peter soon appeared as well.

Lily paused and then pulled her diary out of her pocket.

"What's that?" James asked. He tried to sit up to see better, but yelped with pain and laid back down.

"Nuh, uh mister, don't you dare try to sit up."

"But what is that?"

"This, I believe, is the cause of this whole mess. It's also known as my diary."

"Why would it be the cause of all this?"

"I think that it made me go insane."

"Lily, I don't think you needed any help," James said, smirking wryly.

"I would hit you, but you're already injured enough."

There was a long pause. Sirius had flopped down beside Lily and James, back in his human form. Lily could see Chelsea and Dumbledore hurrying across the grounds towards them. Lily looked down at her diary thoughtfully.

"I don't Ineed this any more."

"What do you mean?" James asked curiously.

"I think it's served its purpose."

Even Sirius looked interested now.

"And I think Chelsea would agree," Lily added, pulling out her wand as she stood up. Dumbledore made his way over to James, followed by Madam Pomfrey who had hurried outside as well.

"I'd agree with what?"Chelseaasked, coming to stand beside Lily and peer down at the open diary.

"That we should retire this diary."

She paused thoughtfully for a moment.

"Maybe you're right. We've documented what we set out to document."

"Yep."

"And if something monumental happens, there are still a few pages left to fill."

"What qualifies as monumental?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh I dunno…maybe a wedding to a certain James Potter?"

"You, Chelsea Fanrae, can just sod off."

"Well it's gonna happen. You ARE dating."

Lily smirked and waved her wand over the diary, muttering a spell under her breath as they made their way up to the castle.

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated **

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, so I'm sorry it's taken me forever to update. You're all wonderful reviewers and if you all review TONS…then I may just add a nice little epilogue that will be some fun and funny fluff. One guess what it will be about….

Anyways, review, and be sure to check out my new story "Washing James' Whites" when I eventually get it written and posted….


	16. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim. JK Rowling's the brilliant one. I just like having fun with her characters. Oh, there's also a reference to something that happened that's VERY similar to something that happened in the show Zoe Busiek: Wild Card. I just changed some slight details…But that credit goes to…well the people who own that show.

**Summary:** So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

**A/N:** I'm a horrible person…I can't believe me it took me THIS long to write this…Oh I'm so horrible. Ok, I won't bore you anymore; go read.

* * *

**The Diary of Lily Evans Epilogue**

_**Lily's Bridal Shower – **AKA: her Stagette Party_

_Lily's getting married!_

Oh my gawd. I can't believe you found this.

_It's a monumental event Lily, it MUST be documented._

Oh gawd, I need Firewhisky. Right now.

_Oh chillax Lilykins. It'll be fun! The girls will be here soon and you can dish all the details of his proposal and then we can get drunk to the point of insanity!_

How thrilling.

_You bet! Oh tonight will be fun!_

Oh joy. I'm so excited. Can't you tell?

_Ooooo, was that the door bell? That means Alice and Mary are here!_

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Recording **

Chelsea Fanrae hurried to the front door of her apartment.

"Come on Lily!" she called, "We have to go to the club!"

Lily, looking as if she'd rather eat a flobberworm than go to the club, nodded and grabbed her jacket. Alice laughed.

"Why so glum, Lily-kins? Aren't you excited? In two days, at this time, you're going to be Mrs. James Potter. Well, Mrs. Lily Potter. Or are you going for both names? Both names and a hyphen?"

Lily cracked a smile, "I'm just tired. Well, and nervous and absolutely terrified that I'm going to screw something up."

Mary, a tall girl with long, curly brown hair, laughed, "And you think James will care? That boy will be thrilled as long as in the end you're wearing a ring on your finger. Besides, that's what the rehearsal dinner is for."

"Come on Lily. After a few drinks and some lap dances, you won't be worried at all!" Chelsea said, grabbing her friend's arm and heading down the hallway out to the car.

Lily just groaned.

In a few minutes, they were seated at the table of a very posh muggle club, complete with hot waiters and a bar.

Lily was very thankful for the bar. She sipped happily on her strawberry margarita.

"So Lily, gonna fill us in on all the juicy details of James' proposal?" Alice asked, smirking devilishly.

"Yes, we want _all_ the dirt," Mary conceded. Lily gulped audibly.

"Well it wasn't anything _that_ special…" Lily said, her face blushing a deep scarlet. Sometimes it really sucked being a redhead. Alice flicked her long, dirty blonde hair over her shoulder smiling and saying, "Oh come on Lils, it can't be that bad! When Frank proposed to me he put it in my wine glass. I downed it without looking, preparing myself for when he broke up with me as I _thought_ that was what he was going to do, and almost choked to death on it!"

Chelsea cracked up, "Oh my gosh, that's hilarious!"

"It wasn't terribly funny at the time," Alice grumbled, still smiling slightly. Lily, smiled.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you. Well, I came home to my apartment and everything appeared completely normal. James and I had plans to go out to dinner later that night, so I got ready and-"

"Wait, wait," Chelsea said, shaking her head and holding up a hand, "_that_ didn't tip you off? The whole 'going out for dinner thing'?"

"This may seem like an unusual concept Chelsea, but James and I tend to go out for dinner a lot," Lily said, speaking to Chelsea as if she were dense. Chelsea huffed and the others laughed. Lily continued.

"So we go to dinner, and he doesn't do anything out of the ordinary. He later drops me off and goes home."

Lily paused, smirking at her confused friends.

"Did I miss something?" Mary asked, looking perplexed. Alice and Chelsea nodded as well.

"I'm setting the scene, girls," Lily stated, laughing, "Anyways, at about 4 in the morning, there was a knock on my door. So, I drag myself out of bed, vaguely resembling someone who had just been hit my a semi truck, and opened the door."

Lily paused dramatically. Her friends held their breath.

"And guess who was there?"

"ooo…the milk man! I always knew you two were having some torrid love affair…"

Lily smacked Chelsea upside the head.

"Shut up twit, it was James."

"Well we all _knew_ that."

"Anyways, it was James. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink and he was wearing the clothes from our date-"

"Wait, wait," Mary said, "Does it actually count as a date?"

"What do you mean?" asked Alice, scrunching her small nose in confusion.

"Well, is it still called a date when you've been seeing the person steadily since seventh year?"

"What else would you call it?" Chelsea asked.

Lily eyed her friends and raised an eyebrow, "Listen, do you _want_ me to tell you this story or not?"

"It was an honest question Lilykins. But please, continue," Chelsea answered, motioning for Lily to continue.

"Where was I? Oh right, James was at my door at four o'clock in the morning."

"How did you know it was four?" Alice asked suddenly.

"Because I looked at the clock! Now be quiet or I won't finish. _You_ wanted me to tell you the story and you aren't even listening!"

"You know, I can't really understand why you never told me the story before…I _am_ your best friend…" Chelsea noted.

"Because you went on a trip to Canada!" Lily shouted, crossing her arms. Chelsea smirked, "Oh…right. That was fun."

"Lily, please tell us the story! We still want to hear it!" Alice said, pointing at Mary and herself.

"Hey, I still wanna hear it! I just-"

"Shut up Chelsea," Mary said, cutting her off. Lily smirked.

"Ok, so James was at my door and he said to me 'Lily, gawd I'm sorry to wake you up this late…well…it's early I guess…but I just couldn't sleep…' and he trailed off so I said 'Yeah, James, I noticed, motion at his clothes'. He just sort of smiled bemusedly at me and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box."

A squeal rose from the girls' table. Lily smiled, blushing again.

"So he opened it and revealed the most beautiful ring I had ever seen, " she said, holding out her left hand and wiggling her fingers to make the diamond in her engagement ring glitter, " and he said to me 'I meant to ask you this at dinner, but I couldn't find the right moment…And I couldn't sleep another night without asking you…Lily, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?' and well, you know the rest."

The grown women squealed again. Lily sipped from her nice alcoholic drink again.

"Merlin, Lily, James is such a sweetheart," Mary said, smiling wistfully. Alice nodded.

"Hey Chelsea, what ever happened with you and Sirius?" Alice asked, looking curious.

Chelsea grimaced and took a large swig of her drink. Lily winced and did the same.

"You don't want to know," she said grimly. Lily nodded, a perturbed look on her delicate features. Mary and Alice looked confused.

"But I don't get it. You guys are friends. It couldn't have ended that badly," Mary said.

"Nuh-uh," Chelsea said, shaking her head and wagging her finger, "Sirius and I aren't friends. We simply have an agreement."

Mary and Alice had been at Hogwarts around the same time as Lily and Chelsea, but they hadn't talked much until the end of seventh year, which was after Chelsea and Sirius had broken up.

"Chelsea likes to pretend that relationship never happened," Lily said, drinking from her glass again.

Chelsea nodded, draining her glass and holding up her hand to get the attention of the waiter.

"Why?" Alice asked, looking from Chelsea to Lily and back again. Lily emptied her glass as well, remembering the aftermath of the break up. She then looked at Chelsea, "Should you tell them, or should I?"

Chelsea groaned, gulping back yet another drink.

"Alright, I will. You see, Sirius and Chelsea were almost…too similar."

"What do you mean?" Mary asked.

"Oh you know. Stubborn, bossy…"

"I resent that," Chelsea smustter from her position with her head on the table, an almost empty glass beside her.

"But it's true. I mean, sure they got along at first. Who doesn't?" Lily said, pausing. Her friends stared at her pointedly.

"Ok, so James and I fought a lot, but that was _before_ we started dating. Anyways, it started out ok, but then…well…things got out of hand."

A bitter laugh was heard from Chelsea's direction.

"What happened?" Mary asked, eyeing the probably drunk form of Chelsea.

"Oh you know, Sirius wanted to just have fun all the time. Chelsea wanted an actual relationship. Then…well he tried to get her to lighten up by playing a prank…and next thing we know there's another prank war on our hands. Except this time they were even dirtier than James' and mine. I believe there was underwear that turned into slugs and hair that turned into spiders at one point. Chelsea was bald for a week."

There was another groan. Alice noticed that there was another glass of alcohol by her, and it was already mostly gone.

"Things got worse and worse until they refused to be within twenty feet of each other. It kind of put a strain of James and mines' relationship, so they created a…well I guess 'truce' is the best word. They decided to be civil to each other for James and I," Lily finished.

Mary patted Chelsea on the head, "It's ok. We'll let the strippers we hired dance for you. Lily would have refused them anyway."

Chelsea perked up slightly, smiling drunkenly.

It was early in the morning, after each woman had downed much more alcohol than they really should have, that they finally made their way home, Lily and Chelsea forgetting to shut off the documentarium spell.

When Lily awoke, she groaned and clutched a hand to her head.

"Oh my skull…stupid skull is too small…poor, poor squished brain…" she muttered, scrunching her eyes closed tight against the mid day sun. From the bathroom there came the disgusting sounds of one's inner stomach contents being 'transferred' into the toilet.

"Chelsea?" Lily called, her voice hoarse from sleep. The reply was more revolting noises. Lily rolled off the guest bed in Chelsea's apartment and landed on the floor with a thud. She groaned, stood up awkwardly and stumbled over to the bathroom. There, sitting on the floor and holding onto the toilet bowl for dear life, was Chelsea Fanrae.

"Damn blue stuff that looks like mouth wash…" Chelsea groaned before leaning over the toilet again. Lily grimaced at the sound and the smell.

"I told you not to drink it. It didn't even taste good."

"I was too drunk already to really care."

"Really? I never noticed. Poor bar man, I don't think he expected you to _actually_ take off your tee-shirt."

"I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Ok…Hey, what time is it?"

"Uh, one? One thirty?" Chelsea answered, glancing at her watch.

"OH MY GAWD!"

"What?"

"THE REHEARSAL IS AT 2:30!"

"Oh…crap."

In a flurry of panic, the girls got up, showered, dressed, made themselves look less zombie-ish and drank several cups of coffee, and rushed out the door, Lily grabbing the diary as she ran out the door.

Once they were in Chelsea's car, Lily opened the diary.

"We forgot to shut it off," she said, glancing over the pages of the leather bound book.

"Should we even bother shutting it off?" Chelsea asked, wincing as a headache struck her.

"Well, we don't want to waste pages with the wedding rehearsal. I'll turn it on again when we're at dinner."

"Ah yes, that should be interesting. The Potters and Evans'…all sitting at one table."

"Yes, exactly why I don't want to waste pages with the wedding rehearsal," Lily said, smiling wryly.

"Smart girl."

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated ****

* * *

**

**Documentarium Spell: Activated **

Lily quickly stuffed the diary into her purse, before James could notice.

"Honey, what was that?"

Unfortunately, Lily wasn't quite quick enough.

"Nothing, James dear," she answered smiling and attempting to distract him with a quick kiss. But, as she kissed him, James reached into her purse and pulled out the diary. He stared at it in shock.

"James!" Lily said, making a grab for the book. She glanced around the parking lot. They had just arrived at the restaurant and their families would be expecting them inside soon. James held the book out of her grasp and smirked down at Lily.

"I remember this book. You had it with you all the time before that incident during the full moon. So it's made a re-appearance? Our wedding counts as a monumental event? I'm so pleased."

Lily scowled and crossed her arms, "James, just give it back," she said indignantly.

"And why would I do that? I haven't even read it yet," he said matter-of-factly.

"Because if you don't, I will call off this wedding."

"Lilykins darling, don't you think that's a wee bit drastic?"

"No. Especially not if you call me Lilykins again."

"Oh you know you like it. Especially when we're…" he trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Lily smacked him on the arm and grabbed her notebook at the same time. James smirked, laughing. Lily grabbed his hand, dragging the still chuckling James Potter into the restaurant.

When they reached their reserved tables, Lily stopped dead.

"James, don't make me do it."

"Lily, love, what's there to be afraid of? Our parents like eachother."

"Yeah, a little too much. And oh gawd…Petunia's here…with Vernon."

James chuckled, "Lilyki-" James started over when Lily glared at him, "Lily, she won't do anything. It's the day before your wedding and she's surrounded by wizards and witches."

"James, you obviously don't know Vernon and Petunia very well."

James, chuckling again, led Lily over to the table. James' parents, Henry and Annette Potter, were sitting across from Lily's parents, William and Claire Evans. Petunia and Vernon were sitting at the end of the table, by the adults. Meanwhile the Mauraders, along with Chelsea, Mary, Alice and Frank, were sitting at the opposite end, leaving room in the middle for James and Lily to sit beside each other. Sirius, who was sitting across from James, smirked.

"What took you guys so long?"

"We had a few…minor setbacks," James said. Sirius snickered.

"Sirius, shut up," Chelsea said from her spot on the other side of Lily.

"Yeah Sirius, honestly, get your mind out of the gutter," Lily said. Sirius feigned shock, "Me? Mind in the gutter? Oh no! Never! I never thought anything of the sort! Perhaps it is you, dear Lily, who has a gutter mind. Only someone with a gutter mind would be able to tell when some one's mind could be in the gutter in the first place."

"Sirius, your mind is _always_ in the gutter," Remus said, chuckling at his friend as he read of the menu casually. Mary snickered along with Alice and Frank. Chelsea then nudged Lily.

"Are you recording?" she asked.

"That's what caused the hold up."

"Ah."

"Yeah, he saw me activate the spell. He almost read it."

"Would it really matter if he did?"

"Well, no," Lily acknowledged, then as a second thought, she added, "actually, yes."

Chelsea smirked, "You just don't want him to read all the sappy things you wrote about him."

"I am not sappy."

"Are too."

"Are not!" Lily argued, her voice rising.

"You're not what, Lily?" her mother suddenly asked. Then the entire table fell silent. James, who heard the conversation, was forced to jam him fist in his mouth to stifle laughter. Lily kicked him under the table. Lily felt her face turning red.

"Uh, I'm not…a fan of Kalamari. The whole squid thing just…doesn't do it for me."

"Nice save," Chelsea whispered, chuckling slightly. James' face was flushed with laughter and he let out a snort.

"Shut up, you." Lily whispered harshly. James' parents were searching the menu.

"There's Kalamari here? Where is it on the menu, Lily?" Annette asked, looking questioningly at Lily. Lily gulped.

"Uh…you know, I think I misread…yeah I did! It actually just says…k…k…cucumber."

James snorted with laughter. Lily elbowed him. Chelsea, who had taken a large of her water, sprayed it all over the table at Lily's answer.

"See, at least I didn't do _that_," James pointed out in a whisper. Lily scowled and poked him in the side.

"Be quiet you," she said, standing up, "Come on Chels, lets see if we can use the hand dryers in the washroom to dry your shirt."

Chelsea nodded, still trying to calm her bouts of laughter as they made their way through the restaurant to the washroom.

"Gosh this shirt takes forever to dry," Chelsea said, doing an odd sort of dance under the hand dryer as she tried to get her shirt on a better angle so it would dry faster. She had already been there for five minutes. Lily snickered and made her way over to a stall, locking the door behind her.

"Maybe dabbing it with toilet paper will work," Chelsea muttered to herself, walking into a stall as well.

That's when they heard voices outside the door.

"Gawd Vernon, I can't take one more minute of those freaks. I need to you all to myself…all on our own…Come into the bathroom with me."

"Petunia, your sister and her freak friend are in there still, aren't they? And why does it have to be the _women's_ washroom?"

Lily heard Chelsea locker her stall door just as Petunia pushed open the main door and looked inside.

"See Vernon? It's empty! We can even lock this main door to make sure no one can come in while we're in there!"

"I don't know…"

"That's right Vernon," Chelsea whispered, "you think it's a stupid idea. Do not come in here…_please_ do not come in here…"

"Oh all right, but only because I love you."

"Damn you Vernon Dursley, damn you," Chelsea muttered, shaking her fist in the air. Lily, who could just barely hear Chelsea in the stall next to her, had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop from laughing.

"I'm just going to check under the stalls, just to be sure no one's hiding. I never say the freaks come back," Vernon said. They heard him move towards their stalls. They both silently hopped up on the toilet seats.

"Vernon, there's no one here, and I can't wait a minute longer to kiss you…" they heard Petunia say, her voice sounding odd. They heard Vernon growl. They both cringed.

Lily looked over and could just barely see Chelsea's head over the top of the stall.

"Chelsea," Lily whispered, "We have to get out of here!"

"You don't say?" Chelsea whispered, sarcasm dripping off every word.

"But how? Any ideas?" Lily asked. There was a pause, which was horrifically accented by the disturbing sounds of Vernon and Petunia making out.

"Well, we _are_ witches…we could…."

"We could what?"

"I have no idea," Chelsea answered. Lily sighed.

"Ok," Lily whispered, "We're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. On the count of three, run. One."

"Two," Chelsea said.

"THREE!" they said together. They leapt off the toilet seats, unlocked the door and scampered over to the main door and then madly dashing to their table where they plunked down in their seats, breathing heavily.

"Lily? Are you alright?" James asked. Everyone looked at the two friends.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said to everyone and then added quietly so only Chelsea and James heard her, "I'm, just scarred for life…and I still have to pee."

Chelsea nodded, then said, "And you know what really sucks?"

"What?" Lily asked.

"My shirt's still wet."

Lily smirked, "We seem to have bad luck with bathrooms, don't we?"

Chelsea laughed, "Yeah, and they always seem to prove enlightening."

"I wouldn't exactly classify that experience as enlightening."

"Well ok, maybe not. But I _was_ enlightened a little bit. I learned that I can run really fast when need be," Chelsea cracked, smirking.

James, who had been listening to the conversation and had pieced things together by what he had seen as Petunia and Vernon left, laughed, "At least you didn't drop anything in the toilet this time."

All of them smirked at the memory. Mary, Alice and Frank looked confused.

"Did we miss a memo or something?" Frank asked, looking at each of his friends. Lily laughed, "No Frank, you didn't. You really don't want to know anyways."

"I think Frank deserves to know!" Sirius piped up, "It's a great story!"

"Sirius, if you tell it, it'll end up being completely twisted," James commented. Remus and Peter nodded.

"I'll tell you three another time," Lily said, her cheeks flushing slightly, "It isn't exactly one of my shining moments, I don't exactly want the parents over hearing."

"Don't want us over hearing what?" Lily's father, William, asked.

Everyone turned to look at Lily expectantly; all of the young adults face's fighting the urge to burst out laughing. Lily, being the smart woman she was, tried evasion tactic number two.

"What? I didn't say that. James did."

"Oh great, thanks," James whispered, looking pointedly at Lily. Lily smiled innocently.

"So James," his father said, "what don't you want us to hear?"

As James began to talk his way out of the whole Lily had dug for him, Lily pulled out her diary from her purse. She flipped through the pages.

"Chelsea I'm gonna shut this off for now."

"But Lily! You have to document everything! How will you ever portray events accurately if you only ever have _half_ of the event! It's just not---

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated **

* * *

_**The Day of the Wedding – The Bride's Dressing Room**_

_You're marrying James Potter today! Just think, in a few more hours, you're going be Mrs. James Potter!_

I think I may throw up. I can't breathe in this dress and the hairpins in my hair are digging into my scalp. Do I look bloated? Is that why the dress feels too small? I feel bloated. Gawd I am bloated, aren't I?

_Lily, calm down. You aren't bloated._

Is it warm in here? It feels really warm in here.

_Look, I'll open a window, ok?_

No, I'll just continue fanning myself. I'm fine.

_Lily, stop hyperventilating._

Hyperventilating? I'm not hyperventilating, what are you talking about? Oh gawd I'm hyperventilating.

_Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…_

Hyperventilating is a stupid word.

_Lily. Lily! Stay with me here!_

Why am I freaking out? I shouldn't be breaking out! I'm marrying James Potter, the love of my life. I bet he isn't freaked out.

_Of course not. He's been ready for this day since fifth year._

The correct answer would have been: Oh I bet he's nervous too. You know, he doesn't want to mess up since he's so lucky to marry a non-bloated, un-hyperventilating, calm and beautiful woman like you.

_Yeah, but I can't lie…_

LIE! LIE, LIE, LIE!

_Lily, everything will be fine, now, as your Maid of Honour, I shall take this diary and make sure is documents everything. Now, the band will start any minute, let's go._

Ok. Deep breath Lily Evans, cause that's the last time that will be your name.

_There ya go Lily, now just one foot in front of the other. Oh look, she's breathing AND walking…she's so grown up._

Sod off.

_There's the Lily I know and love._

* * *

**Documentarium Spell: Activated **

The wedding was taking place on the Potter estate, outside in the vast gardens. Shear white gauze was weaved back and fourth over a large gazebo type area, and several rows of chairs sat beneath it. White orchid and lilac bouquets were placed every so often around the area, bringing a soft, sweet fragrance with it.

When the music started, the brides maids made their way down the isle in pairs with the groomsmen. Lily, from where she stood out of view, could see Chelsea and Sirius, the Maid of Honour and the Best Man, bickering quietly. She smiled. Lily took a deep breath as the brides music came on, and slowly started her procession down the isle. The congregation of family and friends rose from their seats, and some small gasps were heard as she walked by, along with whispers about her beauty. Her father was walking arm in arm with her and smiling proudly. Lily's emerald eyes locked on James and she smiled beneath her vale. When they reached the bottom, her father turned to her.

"Lily," he said, "You couldn't have picked a better guy," and gave her an enveloping hug.

"Thanks dad," she whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

Lily smiled and turned away from her father to face James.

"Ready?" he asked quietly as they walked towards the marriage commissioner. Lily smirked, "I'm ready for anything."

"You look beautiful," he said, as they stepped in front of the woman who would marry them.

"Thank you. You look handsome," Lily said, smiling, "See, I was ready for that."

James smirked, and then fell quiet at the woman started speaking. Lily suddenly flick to auto-pilot mode. She was sucked into a strange little world where only her and James existed. She could tell her mouth was moving, and she was saying words, and she would see James was doing the same, but she was just too caught up in the moment. James really did look handsome in his black tux and with his hair tousled, like he had been extra nervous and had run his hand through it twice as much. She smiled wider. So he _had_ been nervous.

She felt James putting the ring on her finger, and saw herself doing the same. She vaguely wondered if he was onauto-pilot too.

She only truly came too, when the woman spoke the last words of the ceremony.

"You may now kiss the bride," she said, smiling.

James was simply glowing with joy, and Lily was pretty sure she was too.

James leaned into kiss her, but hovered just millimetres from her face. Lily let out an impatient grown and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her lips. She felt James smile against her mouth, and clapping in the background, and soon, she found that she was smiling too.

It was a few minutes later, before the wedding party regrouped to take photos, that Lily pulled Chelsea aside.

"Have you checked on the diary?" Lily asked. Chelsea pulled it out, saying, "Lily, don't worry, it's recording everything…whoa, we're on the last page."

"Yeah, I know, that's what I was worried about."

"Stop talking, you're taking up space!"

"So are you!" Lily exclaimed, pointing to the last page in the book.

"You're taking up more!"

"Shush!"

They were silent for a moment. Then Lily got an idea.

"It's freaky how it does that, " Lily said, "Anyways, come on, this is the perfect time to end this."

"But Lily! What about the reception! We were all going to tell stories about you and James!"

"Most of which are in here. Now come on, we're running out of space."

"Let's use every last line."

"Chelsea, don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid! Hey! Put that wand away! Oh no you don't! Don't you dare shut it off until I'm on the last line! HAHA! THE LAST ----

**Documentarium Spell: Terminated **

* * *

**A/N:** Well there it is. The end. That's it. It's over. No more. Nada.

I'm sorry I took so long to finish. I guess part of me didn't want to end this story. It's just been so much fun to write. Please, please review! It's the last chapter so even if you've never reviewed before, now is the time to review! And thanks again for reading! You're all fantastic. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wonderful words of encouragement! Wow, I'm actually feeling emotional….oh dear…

SHAMELESS PLUG: Watch out for 'Washing James' Whites'

Cheery-o,

SuperSpy


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